Defending Something That Needs No Defense

So I wrote this piece for DisneyBaby a while ago and I was really proud of it. It was about how hindsight had taught me that Luke’s arrival was exactly what the triplets needed because it forced the world — Caroline and me, included — to stop seeing them as babies.

But it was something I had to travel full circle to comprehend, as one of the things that tripped me up most about our surprise pregnancy was that I’d always assumed that the triplets would be our youngest, our most innocent, the fairest of our crew. The three little cherries atop the sundae that was our remarkable story.

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10 Things I Wish My 10 Year Old Knew

I wrote something on my BabbleVoices blog yesterday that I kinda liked called 10 Things I Wish My 10 Year Old knew. The genesis of it all is this: One of the coolest things about being a parent is all the stuff you remember about yourself by simply raising your children. And here’s the greatest part — the child in question doesn’t even have to be your biological child to remind you of yourself. Alli is constantly reminding me of what I used to be like. And while those reminders often make me smile, they can also make me smack my forehead in frustration.

Because she’s ten. And, just like me at age 10, she knows quite a lot. Especially compared to what she knew just a year or two ago. But (and, again, just like me at age 10) she doesn’t know everything. And there are some things that I really wish she did know, mainly because they were things that I ultimately had to learn the hard way. So, in that regard, this post is probably as much about me and what I failed to understand as it is about Alli in specific or 10-year-olds in general.

I only share all of this with you because  I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m speaking critically of my oldest. I’m not. And, what’s more, I never would in a forum such as this. Ever. Instead, it’s with great admiration and, of course, with great love that I wrote this one. Because Alli is an incredible little girl and I’m so lucky to get to be her stepdad. Luckier still that she’s able to show me what I once was.

SO, if you’d like to check it out, please click HERE.

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15 Things Every Stepparent Should Know

If you stop by and read my words from time to time, I think you’ll agree that I have three primary speeds — ha-ha, deep, and esoteric. Lately I’ve been kicking out some ha-has, so I thought it was time to take one kinda deep. In fact, if I had to point to, say, five or six things that I’ve written that would give a total stranger the best sense of who I truly am, this piece would make the list without question. Not because it’s some work of literary genius. (As that clearly wouldn’t give someone a feel for who I am!) Far from it. Just some simple words about a complex relationship. One that I feel so fortunate to have.

So, I really hope you’ll go over to BabbleVoices and read this one. It’s got a piece of my heart trapped inside of it. Click HERE to read 15 Things Every Stepparent Should Know.

A Blended Family, A Stepdaughter and Me

Pookie goofing off at the beach this past August.

Although we had gone to school together from 1980 to 1987, I hadn’t laid eyes on Caroline for nearly a decade. That is before I randomly bumped into her in 2004. Truth be known, I had always found her extremely attractive, even during the Carter administration when she was nothing more than a feisty little 6th grader equipped with the perfect blend of beauty and sass. And the all-grown-up version was somehow even more beautiful than I had remembered.

But in spite of our immediate chemistry, I knew a long-term relationship wasn’t in the cards. After all, Caroline was a single mom. And as a 34 year-old professional bachelor type, I had no interest in any of that. I mean, being a parent is hard enough. But being a stepparent? It’s downright impossible, a fact I understood all too well from my childhood.

Continue reading over at Babble

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