A Kick Shave and a Beauty: Bye Bye to a Bad Beard

The following post is sponsored by Philips Norelco, which provided me with two products for review and also compensated me for my time. Multiple pictures of my weak beard to follow.

Last we left off, we established that Philips Norelco really is the manufacturer of men’s grooming products. You know, as opposed to a major player in the birth control industry, a theory I came up with (along with countless vasectomy jokes) in response to my involvement with their sponsored campaign.

You see, I was supposed to grow a beard in honor of the NHL playoffs, then groom said beard with their Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer Pro. Only my beard repels my wife. Hence the whole birth-control theory.

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My Beard Experiences a Change of Plans

The following post is sponsored by Philips Norelco, which provided me with two products for review and also compensated me for my time.

First: Did you really think I was just gonna start off with a picture of my beard? Because you’d be wrong. To see it, you’ll have to wait a bit. It’s coming, though.

Okay. Next: I’ve got a developing situation on my hands, people. Remember how I told you that Philips Norelco asked me to grow a beard, then shave it off, both in honor of the NHL playoffs and so I could opine on their products here on my blog?

Well here’s the deal. I’ve been growing this thing and, I gotta say, at first it was truly horrendous. And my goodness did it ever itch. Plus, I never really liked myself with a beard, etc…

You know what else this beard has proven to be? Gray. And not of the 50 Shades of variety. Nope. This thing makes a (kinda) young man look old. What’s more, it’s a real wife repellant as evidenced by the following exchange Caroline and I had just the other day:

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Philips Norelco: Men’s Grooming, Birth Control or Both?

The following post is sponsored by Philips Norelco, which provided me with two products for review and also compensated me for my time. The following post is also proof that it’s always best to have an extra layer of protection if you’re prone to, oh, I dunno, having like 15 kids. All opinions expressed are 100% mine.

I know. You think that Philips Norelco is a highly esteemed manufacturer of men’s grooming products. A lot of people do. But I’m pretty sure they’re dabbling in the birth control industry.

And I’m no stranger to birth control, you know, what with my recent vasectomy and all. Not the most pleasant thing in the world. I mean, there’s the procedure itself, which is pretty intense. Then there’s the whole sitting-on-a-bag-of-frozen-peas deal as you watch a marathon of horrendous movies while hopped up on enough opiates to somehow make you cry at the end of Home Alone. (What? It’s a tender reunion between an abandoned, vulnerable little boy and the mother who never meant to leave him.)

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Movember’s Marriage Saving Shaving [Video]

Something cool happened yesterday. Philips Norelco sent me (along with everyone else on Doug French’s Movember team) a Vacuum Stubble & Beard Trimmer and a SensoTouch 3D Shaver. But you know what was even cooler? That they kicked in $15,000 to our team’s fundraising efforts which means that this Movember, we raised over $34,000 which will go directly toward the fight against prostate and testicular cancer.

Yet, perhaps coolest thing still is that by providing me something with which to shave off my ‘stache, Philips Norelco quite possibly just saved my marriage. And I documented the momentous, marriage-saving shave via a three-minute video. And all you Caroline fans? I have a feeling you’ll be quite pleased with her performance in said video. It’s priceless.

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