My Pregnant Wife is the Amy Winehouse of Nesting

That crib looks like shit there. — Right as always, Amy. Right as always. Image: judacoregio‘s photostream via Creative Commons

Caroline’s been on this hardcore nesting bender for like 12 seeks now which, when you think about it, kinda makes her the Amy Winehouse of nesting. For example, just last Saturday she woke me up at 6:30 in the morning with the following comment: “I don’t think we should put this year’s Christmas tree where we put it last year. I think we should move it to where we had it the year before instead.” And while that may have been disconcerting, it was nothing compared to the online extravaganza she embarked upon just two hours later when she decided to knock out a little Christmas shopping. (Send. Help. Now.)

Anyway, I blogged about it a bit ago and today, the fine folks at GoodMenProject are running it on their site. To read it, please click here. (But don’t forget to send help.)

An Aggressive Nesting Initiative Leads to Some Conservative Mounting


Caroline's been on a huge nesting bender.

So Caroline’s been on this huge nesting bender. In fact, I dare say it’s the nesting bender of all nesting benders. Because not only are we preparing for child number five (Grand Finale Osborne), but we’re also moving into our house.

That’s right. Moving into our house. The one we’ve been living in for nearly four years now. Because just 12 hours after we originally moved in? Caroline was put on hospitalized bed rest for what ended up totaling 11 weeks. Suffice it to say that during that time, very little got accomplished. Then, of course, the tiny trio came on the scene and, well, we haven’t been the same ever since.

Which is why it feels like we never officially moved in. At least not like we would have under “normal” circumstances. But Caroline’s aggressive nesting initiative is changing all that.

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When Bad Pets Happen to Good Pregnancies

Briggs gets his snow day on with Alli, Kirby and Jack this past January.

So wow. We’ve officially reached the Honey, I hate your dog portion of the pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, this wife versus dog thing is nothing new. See, Caroline’s allergic to dogs, so Briggs (my well-meaning chocolate Lab) has been a factor from day one. In fact, even before day one, as evidenced during my engagement to Caroline when her best friend demanded to know (somewhat insultingly) what I was “going to do about Briggs.”

“I guess I’m just gonna put him down,” I answered without missing a beat. “It’s sad, and all, but he’s had a good run.” I mean, seriously, what did she expect me to say? Briggs is part of the deal and Caroline knew that. Still does, in fact. Only now, it seems as if she wants to renegotiate that deal. At least so I gathered on Saturday.

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