Celine Dion Names Twins — Also Has Celebrity Doppelganger

Days after Celine Dion‘s fraternal twins were born, they finally have a name. One will go by Eddy, after the producer of Dion’s first five albums, Eddy Marnay. The other will be called Neslon, for Nelson Mandela, with whom the singer once spent a whopping three minutes.

Said her rep: “In just the few minutes [Celine and her husband] were able to spend with [Mandela], they were impressed by the human being he is.” (If sanctimony and skewed perceptions of one’s significance make you sick, feel free to hurl. I just did.)

The news really devastated me. Why? Because I had heard that Celine was having a hard time naming the boys, and I wanted to help. I thought she should name them after her celebrity doppelganger. She could have called one Dustin and the other Diamond. Because let’s face it, the homely crooner, even when basked in the soft light her photo shoots undoubtedly require, bears an uncanny resemblance to Screech of Saved by the Bell fame.

Take away her razor for three days and the diva's Screech, y'all.

Here’s a fun fact about Celine. Did you know that she met her husband when she was 12 and he was 38? That’s not creepy. Hey, come to think of it, Celine’s husband, Rene Angelil, has a doppelganger also! James Avery, from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

I wonder if Carlton knows that Screech married Uncle Phil?

Well, one things for certain. It’ll sure be interesting to find out who Screech and Uncle Phil’s Celine and Rene’s twins end up looking like. It’s bound to be someone famous. Because not only do their mom and dad BOTH have celebrity doppelgangers, so does their older brother. The little guy’s a spitting image of a miniature Ozzy Osbourn.

Screech, Uncle Phil, and mini-Ozzy. Cray Train, indeed.

Photos courtesy of Visopsys.org, Canada.com, LightStalkers, TVonline, and People.

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Fuzzy Math

You know what you get if you cross Pee Wee Herman with Ric Ocasek of The Cars? Hint: it’s a killer combination!

+

DIVIDED BY TWO EQUALS:

amy bishop

Fuzzy Math

I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure that if you combine

Grace Jones

with

Kathie Lee Gifford

and then divide by two, you’ll get

Rupaul

Image: Wikipedia

The Elena Kagan Equation

I have a question. If you add Brendan Fraser plus Mayim Bialik (that girl who played Blossom–don’t pretend like you never watched) and then divided by two, what would your answer be?

I’m no math whiz, but I’m pretty it’s Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. (Whoa.)

Brendan Fraser

+

Blossom

divided by two equals

Elena Kagan

I know. You think I’m an idiot. Doesn’t exactly take a Supreme Court justice to rule on that one, does it?

Guilty as charged, my friends.

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