The go-to gadget of the Osborne family

So at the beginning of the last school year, my oldest was required to get an iPad to negotiate her class curriculum. We were required to pay for it. She was 10. This, obviously, is a post in and of itself. And, in fact, I’ve written one about it for TLC a while back.

In it, I ultimately concluded that since it’s a private school, they can do what they want. If we didn’t like it, we didn’t have to continue to send her there. But we love the school, and there’s quite a case to be made for what a wonderful teaching instrument the iPad is, so all in all, it (obviously) wasn’t a hill for us to die on. Even so, I had reservations. I felt she was too young.

I’m not sure I’ve come off that stance entirely. In my opinion, ten is awfully young to have an iPad. But I will say this. I sure have been pleased with how the school is having her use it. My oldest truly does the majority of her classwork on it and it’s a very high-tech, clean, interactive and efficient way to learn. All in all, I have rave reviews.

Well, except for one thing. See, now that Alli has an iPad guess who else wants one? The triplets. So guess what Caroline got them for Christmas last year?

NO. Are you kidding me? Buying three iPads for three (then) four-year-olds? Gimme a break.

Nope. Instead she picked up…[Read more at Babble by clicking HERE]

photo source

Road Trips — Man vs Wife Edition [Video]

First — WOW, hello? Blog much? Sorry for the radio silence. Crazy stretch for me lately.

But second, and more important, I’ve got a treat for you today. You know how I weaseled my way into getting paid to blog at places like Babble, TLC, YahooShine and Disney? Well, now I’ve weaseled my way into getting paid to post a few video blogs. You’ve seen some of my videos, right? Like the one where I interviewed Caroline while 36 weeks pregnant? In a bathing suit? (I do NOT recommend that any of you guys out there try that one. After all, I’m a trained professional. And a far bigger jackass than all y’all combined.)

Well, that’s what these will be like — that whole feisty banter thing we do. Kinda like Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt on Mad About You, only with a hint of southern charm, right? Anyway, there’ll be six of them between now and the end of the year. The series is called According to the Osbornes and this first one’s about road trips. GOOD. TIMES. Actually road trips aren’t much fun for us. But they are funny as you’ll see from the video. (And Caroline is puh-RICELESS in it…)

So head on over to Babble to see what I mean by CLICKING HERE.

Father’s Day in Heaven

A young JCO kicking it w/ Mom and Dad shortly before his death. (Yes. He's rocking a smoke.)

I first posted this a year or two ago and I thought I’d post it agin for two reasons: first, it’s been viewed hundreds of times just this past week via Google searches for the term: “Father’s Day in heaven,” which tells me that many of us have someone up above we’d like to reach out and touch this Father’s Day. And, second, I suppose this is my way of saying Happy Father’s Day to my dad. Even if you’ve read it before, I hope you’ll read it again, particularly if you’re in a similar boat and can relate. And Happy Father’s Day, y’all.

Early one morning in 2002, my brother picked me up from the airport and drove me to the hospital to see my dad. He had been unresponsive since the afternoon before. His rapid turn for the worse was what had prompted the previous night’s phone calls urging me to catch a cross-country flight if I ever wanted to see him alive again.

The second I walked into his room, I was devastated. So that’s what it looks like, I thought, with equal amounts of fear and awe. It was dehumanizing. Which made sense to me. What was happening to Dad is what sets our spirit free. And our spirit isn’t human.

I sensed that although he was still with us, he was gone nonetheless. But I was wrong. Dad came back to us later that very day. Shortly after he regained consciousness, he told Mom something she’ll never forget.

[Read more…]

Our 12 Best Family Pics of 2011

Hard to believe that 2011 is coming to a close. Okay, no it’s not. That’s just something people say. It’s hard to believe that summer’s already here. Or, I can’t believe you’re such a big boy already. Why is it that people have such a hard time believing that time passes us by? It’s so utterly…believable.

Even so, there are times which strike me as more profound than others. And the end of the year is one such time, possibly because it’s such a natural period of reflection. Which is exactly why I decided to make my final post of 2011 a reflective one.

[Click here to read more and see the pics]

Photo: woodleywonderworks

Healthy Baby. Now What?

Hate to bust out one of my favorite redneck-isms on you, but there’s no other way to say it — it’s been hotter’n dammit lately. And whenever it’s hotter’n dammit, our upstairs gets a bit toasty. And the triplets had a tough time falling asleep last night thanks to all that toastiness. And, perhaps, to a bit of sassiness as well. Which meant that Caroline and I made countless trips up the stairs to tend to them on the very night that, as misfortune would have it, we finally crashed from the adrenaline high that Grand Finale’s arrival had temporarily provided us.

[Read more…]

Another Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

That’s right. Just days after we celebrated Grand Finale’s birthday, it’s time to celebrate yet another. And no, it’s not Alli’s, as the above picture might suggest. Nope, today’s birthday belongs to another girl. But not Kirby. Because then that’d mean that Sam and Jack would also be celebrating a birthday today, and they’re not. And it’s not my birthday. Nor is it the birthday of our faithful hound, Briggs. So that just leaves one person.

[Read more…]

The Time We Met Our Brother

Soon after Caroline and I first learned that she was pregnant with Luke, I was surprised to find that I actually had to mourn the loss of something: the “youngest child” status that the triplets would soon give up. This, of course, made me appreciate just how incredibly well Alli handled the triplets’ arrival. Sure, you could hear her gears grind just a bit during the first few months of their lives, but all in all, she adjusted beautifully. So beautifully, in fact, that I honestly don’t think Caroline and I would be half as effective in raising the triplets without her.

So now the question, of course, becomes how will the triplets handle the arrival of their brother?

[Read more…]

Maybe Sigourney Weaver Would Help

Caroline and Alli, as seen waiting for Go Dot.

I feel guilty because I can tell that more and more of you are stopping by each and every day, very likely with the specific intent of finding out whether or not Grand Finale has begun his reign of planet Earth. And, well, he hasn’t. Which means each time you stop by, instead of some joyous birth announcement, all you’re getting are various snippets of mindless conversations which feature subjects as asinine as Rambo’s bandana, the Bang-Bang train and nipple stimulation as it pertains to NASCAR — all while we wait for the little fellow who’s starting to feel as if he might not ever get here.

[Read more…]

Dear Pregnancy Gods, Please Gimme My Wife Back

Image: mendhak‘s photostream via Creative Commons.

Dear Pregnancy Gods,

Please gimme my wife back. Don’t get me wrong, this lactose dependent being (as presumed by her legendary and daily ice cream consumption) is charming, and she looks as beautiful as ever, swollen belly and all. And, what’s more, she’s still carrying on much as she did before her pregnancy. Just yesterday for example, she reigned supreme (yet again) in her tennis match. On court number one, mind you. And at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant, no less.

[Read more…]

If Pop Songs Were Written For Toddlers: The Potty Training Edition

Image: ceedub13 via Creative Commons 2.0

Yeah. Okay. So we’re sorta rockin’ potty jokes today. Better than Weiner jokes, I suppose. Hope TLC doesn’t mind! Oh well. Too late now, I guess, because I went ahead and posted it on their website, Parentables. The post is basically a story about how I used to sing to the triplets during their potty training years. If you think you’ve read it before, you may have read something similar, but this one’s got potty-altered songs I’ve yet to mention (though there is one cross-over).

As you can tell from the photo above, one of them is a Snoop Dogg song. Drop It In The Pot, of course. The others?

[Read more…]

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