You Don’t Know Who the Baby Looks Like. You Just Don’t.

Even when I look real close, I can’t tell!

Last night I went for a run and took my iPhone along because I wanted to listen to a new playlist that I had downloaded earlier in the day. About a mile into it, the music was interrupted by notification of a tweet I had received from a random woman who was commenting on a piece I had written for TLC which discussed the advantages of being an older parent. I actually fired back with a few taps of my thumbs without even breaking stride, and once I did, I was taken aback by the entire experience. I was essentially having a conversation with a woman I had never met before about the birth of my youngest child. While running. Through the use of my phone. (And I once thought call waiting was the shit…)

Yet as much as technology has changed the way in which I’m able to converse about my newborn, human nature has insisted that some of the conversations remain the exact same as they’ve always been. And I was reminded of this earlier today when Grand Finale and I ran into an old friend who engaged me in such a conversation.

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Celine Dion Names Twins — Also Has Celebrity Doppelganger

Days after Celine Dion‘s fraternal twins were born, they finally have a name. One will go by Eddy, after the producer of Dion’s first five albums, Eddy Marnay. The other will be called Neslon, for Nelson Mandela, with whom the singer once spent a whopping three minutes.

Said her rep: “In just the few minutes [Celine and her husband] were able to spend with [Mandela], they were impressed by the human being he is.” (If sanctimony and skewed perceptions of one’s significance make you sick, feel free to hurl. I just did.)

The news really devastated me. Why? Because I had heard that Celine was having a hard time naming the boys, and I wanted to help. I thought she should name them after her celebrity doppelganger. She could have called one Dustin and the other Diamond. Because let’s face it, the homely crooner, even when basked in the soft light her photo shoots undoubtedly require, bears an uncanny resemblance to Screech of Saved by the Bell fame.

Take away her razor for three days and the diva's Screech, y'all.

Here’s a fun fact about Celine. Did you know that she met her husband when she was 12 and he was 38? That’s not creepy. Hey, come to think of it, Celine’s husband, Rene Angelil, has a doppelganger also! James Avery, from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

I wonder if Carlton knows that Screech married Uncle Phil?

Well, one things for certain. It’ll sure be interesting to find out who Screech and Uncle Phil’s Celine and Rene’s twins end up looking like. It’s bound to be someone famous. Because not only do their mom and dad BOTH have celebrity doppelgangers, so does their older brother. The little guy’s a spitting image of a miniature Ozzy Osbourn.

Screech, Uncle Phil, and mini-Ozzy. Cray Train, indeed.

Photos courtesy of,, LightStalkers, TVonline, and People.

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