Yarn Spinning 101

Today’s Thursday, and that means it should be time for another JCO or JC NO. You know, when I relay some weird story and you decide whether it’s true or not. Only I’ve done little other than work with PJ Mullen on revamping my website during the past week, which has left no time for me to write this week’s installment. But I still thought I should at least comment on last week’s tale.

If you tuned in, you read my account of the days back in college when I’d serve as a loquacious decoy who would distract convenient store clerks by bullshitting aimlessly with them while my friends “de-boarded” diet cokes from their twelve-pack containers before replacing them with twelve Old Milwaukee’s Light Bests — all so we could purchase beer in coke’s clothing on Sundays, when, of course, beer sales weren’t allowed on Hilton Head Island, SC.

Y’all were split on this one, though a little more than half of you who commented didn’t believe the story. And I don’t blame you. It was so unbelievable to me, that I actually had to call one of my co-horts to confirm that we did, in fact, stoop to such lows during that era. Regrettably, my friend was happy to do just that. Which means, as implausible as it sounds, the tale is a true one.

Props to web-designer extraordinaire and all around talented guy, PJ Mullen, along with Wendy Wisniewski, Patrick, and WeaselMomma for getting it right. But a special shout out to a fifth person who also got it right — SeattleDad – for the sound logic that led him the the correct answer. ”College kids,” he commented “will do about anything for beer.”

No argument here, counselor.

Next Thursday, I’ll return with yet another questionable tale and let y’all be the judge as to whether or not it’s fact or fiction. But before I sign off, I’d like to give special props to my boy, Dad of Divas, who was so convinced I was telling the truth in the first JCO or JC NO (Calamities in Call Screening) the he said if I was, indeed, fibbing, he’d give me the Mark Twain Yarn Spinning Award, whatever the hell that meant. Call me sensitive, but I thought his remark was a thinly veiled insult akin to “pathological liar.” Until he emailed me this.

DOD — you may be a ball-buster, my friend, but you are, indeed, a man of your word. Thank you for my award. Y’all go visit DOD. He’s a great guy with a great site.

Final note — thanks to all who voted for me in the Man of the House “World’s Greatest Dad” contest. Honestly? I don’t even consider myself the greatest dad on my street, much less the greatest dad in the world, but I’m still hopeful I’ll win. Because if I do, I will donate the entire $2,000 prize money to ChildHelp.org, a leading national non-profit which benefits the victims of child abuse and neglect. I may not be the world’s greatest dad, but I am a good dad, and sometimes a good dad does what he can for kids who have dads who aren’t very good at all.

I hope you’ll help me in that cause by clicking THIS LINK, then clicking the vote icon. It will literally only take you five seconds (unless you wanna watch my video). Even if you voted yesterday, you’re allowed to vote once every twenty-four hours, so please consider voting again. Thanks!

A Pack of Those D Batteries, Too, Please

Today’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for yet another installment of JCO or JC NO, where I spin the yarn and you decide whether the story I relay is fact (JCO) or fiction (JC NO). To see if you were right, come back next week when I will give you the skinny before delivering the next JCO or JC NO. SO, last week’s deplorable tale of me poaching food off the tables I bussed as a Fuddruckers’ employee? The overwhelming majority of you suspected that to be true.

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But She Looked Like a Clean Person

So it’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for the second installment of JCO or JC NO, where I, John Cave Osborne, tell you, (state your name) a story which is either fact or fiction. Should you feel so inclined, leave a comment telling me if you think what I’ve written is legit (JCO) or bogus (JC NO). Then come back next Thursday to see if you were right. [Read more...]

Calamities in Call Screening

I’m trying something new on my blog — a segment called JCO or JC NO. I’ve got four of them planned. The premise is simple. Each Thursday, I’ll tell a JCO story. Then y’all decide if it’s fact (JCO) or fiction (JC NO). To see if you were right, come visit me the following Thursday. Before offering up that week’s JCO or JC NO, I’ll confirm or deny the veracity (solid word, no?) of the prior week’s story. [Read more...]

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