Movember’s Marriage Saving Shaving [Video]

Something cool happened yesterday. Philips Norelco sent me (along with everyone else on Doug French’s Movember team) a Vacuum Stubble & Beard Trimmer and a SensoTouch 3D Shaver. But you know what was even cooler? That they kicked in $15,000 to our team’s fundraising efforts which means that this Movember, we raised over $34,000 which will go directly toward the fight against prostate and testicular cancer.

Yet, perhaps coolest thing still is that by providing me something with which to shave off my ‘stache, Philips Norelco quite possibly just saved my marriage. And I documented the momentous, marriage-saving shave via a three-minute video. And all you Caroline fans? I have a feeling you’ll be quite pleased with her performance in said video. It’s priceless.

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All I Want For Christmas is to Lose This ‘Stache

See that picture above? It’s what I look like. Normally, that is. And while I’m certainly not saying that I’m the most handsome man in the world, I am saying this: I look a hell of a lot better in that picture than I do right now. For right now, I’m typing this post with what I belive to be the most deplorable moustache of all time. And if you’d like to see it, all you gotta do is click “read more.”

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Wanna Touch My Moustache?

The before shot.

So, how’s your Movember going? Mine’s going quite well, thank you very much. Well, except for the fact that my wife has threatened to leave me. You know, because of this whole moustache thing I’ve got going on. Don’t get me wrong. She’s loves the sentiment behind it. And what’s not to love? I’m leveraging social media for social good by drawing attention to men’s health issues (prostate cancer chief among them) by growing a moustache, then blogging, tweeting and posting Facebook updates about it. My hope, of course, is that you’ll support my efforts (as well as those of the other men on my team) by making a donation.

So, yeah, Caroline loves the sentiment behind it. Yet, still, she’s married to me which means she’s (presumably) attracted to me. And those of you who have either seen Caroline or know her in real life already realize what a coup that is. Sadly though, the coup is being threatened as it seems as if this sickly-looking caterpillar I’m sporting is all but extinguishing said attraction.

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Joining the Fight Against Prostate Cancer No Matter How Stupid I Look Doing It

I meant to post this on November 1, but it’s been a hectic week:

Did y’all know that in some circles, the month of November is known as MOvemeber. Why? Because it’s a play on the word MOustache (which, incidentally, is hard to spell…). You see, each year more and more men choose to grow a moustache during November as a way of honoring the fight against prostate cancer, an organized effort known simply as Movember, thus making the moustache analogous to the pink ribbon of breast cancer. And this MOvember, I’m teaming up with a group of well-known and well-respected male bloggers to help fight the good fight.

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Your Dumbass Dog is at it Again

Say what you want about my dog, Briggs, but one thing’s for sure. Dude has some serious timing. Why, you ask? Because last week, I wrote a post about him for AimingLow. You know, a standard Briggs post with a garden-variety rundown of his mind numbingly frustrating antics.

Then, just this past weekend, he struck again, such that the post that just got published last night is already outdated. It all started on Saturday morning when Caroline, as she’s wont to do, woke me up with a familiar refrain.

“Your dumbass dog is at it, again.”

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Toddler Related Train Wrecks

You see that picture just above this line? That picture, my friends, is of the chandelier in our furniture-less dining room. But more importantly, that picture is the perfect metaphor for Caroline and me right now. We’re awfully close — in the grand scheme of things — to being right where we’re supposed to be. Yet, sadly, we’re noticeably askew. Still, we’re hanging in there. But, let’s fact it… we could collapse at virtually any moment.

Why, you ask? Because of toddler-related train wrecks. That’s why. And I learned of the most recent such train wreck just two days ago via a phone call from my beautiful wife. A phone call which began with a question that no man ever wants to hear his wife ask, especially over the telephone. “How do you turn off the water to the house?”

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Annoying Toys and the Parents Who Loathe Them

So, I’ve been on a bit of a deep thread over here at my personal blog, one which I intend to deviate from with my next post which should be up tomorrow. (Wait til you hear what the triplets did yesterday…) But fear not, dear friends. For I still possess a sense of humor. And today it’s on display over at AimingLow. And I gotta say, I’m kinda partial to this post as I think it’s quite funny. Remember the post I wrote for TLC called 10 Astonishingly Annoying Toys? (It wound up on the homepage of YahooShine!) It was inspired by one toy in particular. And that toy is featured in the AimingLow post that just went up today. But what’s also featured is another dialogue with my exceedingly clever and lovely wife. One in which she, per usual, gives me all I can handle. See what happens when we disagree on whether or not a toy will prove to be annoying by clicking HERE. And, again, swing back by tomorrow if you wanna see me try to be funny on my personal blog for a change.

10 Astonishingly Annoying Toys

Love the girl. Hate the toy.

Love the kid, but hate the toy? Boy oh boy, do I ever know how you feel. But having five kids? I’ve built a pretty reasonable tolerance to annoying toys. That said, I ran across one the other day that brought me to my knees and had me contemplating leaving my family. Instead, I vented via a Facebook post and took solace knowing that I wasn’t alone. After all, misery loves company. And thanks to that company, I came up with a list of dreadful toys that I wrote about over at TLC today. I think it’s pretty funny. In a macabre kinda way, that is. So I hope you’ll check it out by clicking HERE.

The Baby Gift Bag That Had Little Ding Dongs on It


Babies get gifts. Some come in bags. Funny bags. With little ding dongs on them.

It’s a long story — one which I explain in detail via my first post over at Aiming Low. WARNING: If you like your JCO with peaches and cream, then this might not be the post for you. It’s irreverent, profane and extremely adolescent.

Consider yourself warned. If you’re still down, click HERE.

Does Your 9 Year Old Need an iPad?

I meant to link this up the day I wrote it and just forgot. So some of you on my twitter and FB feed may already know about this by now, so sorry if it’s a repeat. But I think it’s worth posting here because the question, at least in my opinion, is a compelling one. My daughter’s school is requiring that every student have an iPad to navigate their curriculum starting this upcoming year. She’s 9. So whaddya think? Does your 9-year-old need an iPad? Read my take on TLC’s Parentables by clicking HERE.

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