The Week Without Luke

See that picture up there? It was taken about two months ago. To the casual observer, I’m sure it’s a very good likeness to Luke, indeed. But I can obviously tell it’s a dated shot of my junior-most associate because, you know, I’m his dad and all.

And the reason why I put it up is twofold. First — it’s an awfully cute picture — don’t you think? But second, this past Friday marked the first time I’d seen my baby in a full week, you know, since he and the rest of the crew went to the beach while I remained at home and made hot air balloons and whatnot. (Long story.) And I was amazed at how much my little guy had changed in that short amount of time.

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All I Want For Father’s Day

Wanna hear something funny? I had no idea that this Sunday was Father’s Day till about 10 minutes ago when my wife called and asked me how I wanted to spend the special day. So before I share with you the answer I gave her, let me first tell you why I think I forgot about the big day. There are two reasons, actually. First, I’m not really into Father’s Day. No knock on it, but…I dunno, it’s just not my deal. But, second, Caroline and the kids have been away since last Friday at the beach, so I’ve been flying solo and holidays are one of the things you tend to lose track of when you’re flying solo.

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Contemplating Luke and Briggs

This post is spon­sored by Dis­ney Baby. I’ll be join­ing the Dis­ney Baby blog­ging team this month, and look for­ward to shar­ing these kinds of sto­ries with you over there — stay tuned for more details.

Another quick note: not the best quality of picture, but it’s one of my very favorites pics ever. It was taken outside in our gazebo in January-ish and it was Luke’s first experience seeing a fire. He loved it, staring with wide blue eyes, dancing flames reflecting from each. Now, the post:

If you count dogs as children (and, seriously, who doesn’t?), then my oldest wouldn’t be Alli. It’d be Briggs. My youngest, of course, would be Luke. And like I mentioned yesterday, I’ve sorta been feeling guilty about having written so little about Luke, particularly as compared to his siblings.

Which is one reason why I was so excited to be asked by Disney to write for their new site DisneyBaby — it’s just the impetus I needed to spend some time hashing through and documenting my thoughts about my little blue-eyed man. Which is only appropriate given the fact that his impending arrival had given me great pause and was steeped in symbolism for me. Partly because I’m neurotic and tend to over-analyze things. (So wait, you’ve noticed? Wow. Okay. Well, where would you say I fall on the over-analytical continuum? Like 75th percentile-ish? A touch lower, maybe even? Because, seriously, I’m not that bad. I mean, you should see my Aunt Jill. NUT. BAG.)

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What About Luke?

You know what comment I used to get all the time when Caroline was pregnant with Grand Finale? “So are you going to write another book now?” Like that was the thing to do. Write a book each time you have baby.

Don’t get me wrong. The question was perfectly logical. After all, the last time Caroline and I had children I did, indeed, write a book. But I didn’t write that book because I wanted to document my children. I mean, that was a huge bonus, no doubt. And something I’m so glad happened. But that’s not why I wrote the book.

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Philips Norelco: Men’s Grooming, Birth Control or Both?

The following post is sponsored by Philips Norelco, which provided me with two products for review and also compensated me for my time. The following post is also proof that it’s always best to have an extra layer of protection if you’re prone to, oh, I dunno, having like 15 kids. All opinions expressed are 100% mine.

I know. You think that Philips Norelco is a highly esteemed manufacturer of men’s grooming products. A lot of people do. But I’m pretty sure they’re dabbling in the birth control industry.

And I’m no stranger to birth control, you know, what with my recent vasectomy and all. Not the most pleasant thing in the world. I mean, there’s the procedure itself, which is pretty intense. Then there’s the whole sitting-on-a-bag-of-frozen-peas deal as you watch a marathon of horrendous movies while hopped up on enough opiates to somehow make you cry at the end of Home Alone. (What? It’s a tender reunion between an abandoned, vulnerable little boy and the mother who never meant to leave him.)

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Oversharing in an Online World

Have you ever made small talk with an acquaintance only to have that individual tell you something so personal that it made you uncomfortable? I ran into this guy once whom I’d met at a party and hadn’t seen since. I shook his hand and asked how he’d been. Not that great. My wife caught me cheating. Pretty sure she’s gonna leave me.

What to say? I’m so sorry. Keep your head up. Everything happens for a reason. He countered my clichés with sordid details about his “hot” mistress while I hoped that the unwanted conversation would quickly run its course. I felt…violated? Probably the wrong word, but the feeling was certainly in that neighborhood. I felt he’d infringed upon me by offering such private (and unwanted) information.

I obsessed over the encounter for a week, vacillating between feeling like a victim and a jerk. After all, he was obviously hurting and just needed to air things out. To publicly own something awful he’d done. Who was I to begrudge him for that?

[read more over at BabbleVoices]

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5 Things About Dad 2.0

Real quick, HUGE shout out to the sponsors of Dad 2.0 who made the event I’m about to break down possible. They are: Johnson & JohnsonKinect for Xbox 360HondaLGZatarain’sCLRDoveLegoPhilips NorelcoScottsMiracle GrowShot@life.orgSpareOne, and Tide.

So, about that conference… Here are the five things I learned at Dad 2.0:

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Clorox Bleachable Moments: The Briggs Edition

The following post is sponsored by Clorox, which, coincidentally, may as well sponsor our stain-ridden lives as much as we’ve come to depend on them.

Have you ever noticed that after you buy something, you’re more apt to see whatever it is you’ve purchased in the course of your everyday life? Example: Last week, I bought a pair of trail-running shoes, ones I’d never seen before. But since purchasing them, I’ve noticed these exact shoes on the feet of no fewer than half a dozen folks. So I ask you, is it a mere coincidence that I’m just now seeing them? Or have these shoes been just as prevalent before my purchase, but I’m only now taking notice since I actually own a pair?

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Share Your Bleachable Moments and Win $25,000 From Clorox

The following post is sponsored by Clorox, which, coincidentally, may as well sponsor our stain-ridden lives as much as we’ve come to depend on them.

Okay, quick disclaimer here. I’m far from an expert when it comes to keeping things all neat and tidy. That’s my wife’s deal. She’s got this entire system that she effortlessly employs. Okay, that’s a lie. Her system requires preposterous amounts of effort. She only makes it look effortless. But still, it’s a system, alright. One which keeps our entire household as clean as a whistle, though, presumably not one of the nasty, saliva-encrusted plastic whistles the triplets constantly have lodged in their germ-ridden mouths.

Regardless, Caroline is a clutter-eliminating, filth-eradicating life saver. But you know what else she is?

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Dear Santa, I Gotta Get Something Off My Chest

Dear Santa,

I’ve got some seriously complicated feelings that I gotta get off my chest.

Back in the day? You were the harbinger of Christmas, a jolly good man armed with a shit ton (it’s metric) of toys, and I believed, Santa. With every bit of my little, innocent heart. Then, virtually overnight, you became a laughing stock to me — a pretend dude only little babies still believed in.

[Read the rest at AimingLow]

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