Clorox knows that Ick happens!

Sadly, this is like a week's supply for my crew.

Sadly, this is like a week’s supply for my crew.

I am being compensated by The Clorox®Company to share a new language about messes for the Clorox® Ick-tionary.

Have y’all ever heard of a sniglet, by any chance? It was a term was coined by comedian / actor Rich Hall during the 80’s on HBO’s Not Necessarily the News. So what’s a sniglet? It’s a made up word that describes a common-but-unnamed phenomenon. And even after all these years, there’s still one sniglet which has totally stuck with me.

Gromax: the film that bonds your skin to the vinyl of your car seat.

My buddies and I were well in touch with gromax. As we were with so many of the other words we learned from Rich Hall back in those days. And we waited with baited breath each week for new sniglets.

Fast forward three decades (three decades?), and I’ve once again stumbled upon a delightful collection of words which describe common-but-unnamed occurrences, this time courtesy of the folks at Clorox. Because Clorox is well in touch with families like yours and mine — families which experience their fair share of child-related / pet-related Ick. Simply put, Clorox knows that “Ick” happens.

Which is why they’ve put together a list of hilarious sniglets (with the help of folks like you!) a la a little gem they’re calling the “Icktionary.” And believe me when I tell you that this is something you’re going to wanna check out. Because if you haul as many “Littles” around town as Caroline and I do, then I have a feeling that “car-posting” is gonna ring a (pretty gross) bell.

And for all you folks with pets that are as (what’s the phrase I’m looking for?) accidentally mischievous (?), inconveniently defecatory (better) as our Briggs is, then you’ll probably nod your head at “shoop.” (Or vomit. Either way.)

And, hey, Luke’s not yet two, so you know what that means, right? Correct. “Up the back” is a way of life around my house.

Here’s what you may not know, though. While reading these universally identifiable terms, you can can also play games and even grab a few coupons. You know, for the all the products which Clorox has to help you deal with “Ick-tionary” moments. We use several of them, including Clorox® Regular-Bleach, Clorox® Toilet Bowl Cleaner with Bleach and Clorox 2® Stain Fighter & Color Booster.

Oh. And can I give a quick shout out to the Clorox® Disinfecting Wipes? Because those bad boys are in constant play at Casa de Osborne.

And while you’re at the site, make sure to submit your own Icktionary term. Because, goodness knows you’ve got one if not several, right? Lord knows we do. Here are five such terms that I’ve coined to describe phenomenon around our home:

diapo-hazard
noun
a risk of human health, the environment, or, at very least, the surface of a changing station via the inadvertent (and inevitable) transfer of DNA thereto.

creva-sauce 
noun
the viscous residue left behind the cracks and crevasses of your infant’s highchair.

sneez-mist
noun
a cloud of tiny water droplets suspended in the atmosphere of toddler-infested households which will eventually find a safe landing spot on the surface of your dining room table.

nostraharmus
noun
harm caused by small children’s incessant nose-picking via inadvertent transfer of germs onto any number of household surfaces after the offending “pick,” yet before the next hand washing.

urin-droppolis
noun
a ring of urine droplets left atop an un-raised toilet seat by boys under the age of ten. See also:

ur-infamous
noun
a ring of urine droplets left atop an un-raised toilet seat by a grown man.

Any of those ring true for you? Because they’re all factors for us. Well, except for urinfamous. Because I can assure you that no grown man in our house could ever be insensitive enough to leave the seat down.

Despite what Caroline says.

(I think it was Jack. Or Sam, maybe.)

Many thanks to Clorox, not just for being so great to work with, but also for helping us control the Icktionary moments that go down in our house. You know. As best we can, at least!

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.