5 Years With Caroline

It was exactly five years ago when I married my beautiful Caroline. And I remember the day vividly. Every aspect of it. And, believe it or not, the thing that sticks out most isn’t the part where we said “I do.” Nor is it the reception. Or even that first night we spent as man and wife. Nope. The thing that sticks out is sitting with my soon-to-be stepdaughter in one of the church’s meeting rooms as I nervously pondered my future. It was all about to change, and I vowed that I’d be ready for whatever it was that would come my way. Yet try as I might, there was simply no way I could have ever imagined everything I was about to get.

I won’t bore you with some long list of them, as I don’t intend for this to come off as some sort of acceptance speech, but rather, instead as a 30,000-foot reflection laced with gratitude.

Caroline and I have been dealt some fairly extreme cards. But they’ve been good ones. And though our day-to-day lives have been difficult for the past year (or more!), the burdens are joyful. Yes. This can hard to remember during 3 am bottles, garden-variety meltdowns, and house-ruining antics.



it’s also impossible to forget.

In many ways it feels as if these years have been dog years, that there were actually 35 of them, what with the 17 years of combined parenting that went down and all the trials and tribulations that have come along with such exploits. Yet, also, it’s surprising how quickly these incredibly dense years have passed. Which makes me appreciate how quickly they’ll all pass, these child-rearing years, the ones that are comprised of countless precious and, yes, trying moments that we’re sometimes tempted to wish away.

Which is why we don’t. Wish them away, that is. Instead, we plow forward, ever hopeful we’re sufficiently thankful for all we’ve been given. And for me, that includes being thankful for you, Caroline. So incredibly thankful.

I’m not sure what the next five years holds. I just know that I’m spending them with you. And Alli. And Sam, Jack, Kirby and Luke. OH. And Briggs, assuming you don’t give his crazy ass away one day while I’m gone.

So Happy Anniversary, Caroline. I love you!

OH. And honey, when trying to figure out what I should get you for our anniversary, I learned that a traditional fifth-anniversary gift is wood. You know, since it’s strong and long lasting. So, wow. Not sure what that means your actual present will be, but whatever it is, you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be sporting wood when I give it to you.

(Oh my. I am SO sorry, y’all. I tried incredibly hard to not write that. Yet I wrote it anyway and it’s just appalling. I’m gonna go back and delete it. No. No, wait. I’m not.)

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • Rachellexicon

    John the day you stop including appalling items in your blogs is the day it becomes less interesting. Don’t stop with the appalling.
    (Although yes, there is a TMI line, so while allusions are acceptably bad humor, there’s no need for further extrapolation nor photos. Thanks! ;p)
    Happy Anniversary!
    :) R

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      HA! don’t worry. no pics of that, my friend. thanks for your (somewhat reluctant?) endorsement of all which appalls as it appears on my blog. and don’t worry, i’ll try to stay on the tasteful side of appalling! thanks for the comment, my friend.

  • Jwestgate02715

    Happy Anniversary John & Caroline!

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      jwestgage!!! thank you!

  • Staciekeller

    Ha…love it…right down to the last sentence…lol! Happy Anniversary!

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      thanks, Stacie. it was a nice night for sure. hope all is well w/ you and your crew!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Beth-Sumner-Lowe/100000200052068 Beth Sumner Lowe

      Y’all have packed a lot of living in 5 years and a lot of blessings too!  Happy Anniversary….

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      no question. lots of stuff packed into five years. and double no question… lots of blessings, indeed. thank you!

  • http://suburbanscrawl.com Melisa Wells

    Happy 5th anniversary, you crazy kids! (You’ve got a kid for every year you’ve been married! Sorta.)

    FTR I don’t believe you had an internal struggle on the post ending at all. But I’m glad, because it was hilarious. I wonder if Caroline will be laughing later, too. :)

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      well, it’s not every day that a guy gets to write the following about his wife: i’ll be sporting wood when i’m giving it to you. so, yes, to that end, she did think it was quite funny. and sure, there was no internal struggle. at all. and yes, next time you’re in ktown, we’ll set up a lovie meeting…it may entail you coming over and taking care of our kids!

      • http://suburbanscrawl.com Melisa Wells

        I was thinking more along the lines of YOU taking care of the kids while Lovie and I go to lunch. :)

  • http://suburbanscrawl.com Melisa Wells

    P.S. I seriously want to meet Caroline next time I’m in Knoxvegas.

  • http://neeroc.wordpress.com/ Neeroc

    It really wouldn’t have been a post from you if you hadn’t included that line *g* 
    Happy anniversary.

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      you know what? you’re right, neeroc. it couldn’t have been a post from me if it weren’t from that line. i routinely find the adolescent, no? and thanks! we had a great night.

  • Miss A

    Happy Anniversary to you and the beautiful Caroline! Many many more happy to you.
    Miss A

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      thank you, Miss A!

  • Robin

    You and your family seem awesome! I just love reading your blog and hope one day I may write on a blog that is 1/2 as popular as yours. Next time I visit my sister in Knoxville I would love to meet you all. Happy Anniversary, take care, and get some rest for your anniversary night. :)

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      robin! when i was answering my comments the other day, i somehow didn’t answer yours and i wanted to make sure that i did. so first, i want you to know that i got your comment right as Caroline and i were walking into the restaurant on our anniversary. i also want you to know that it was as kind as it was perfectly timed. finally, as if the first two things weren’t proof enough of your character, you MUST be a good egg b/c you have relatives who live in Knoxville! you reach out any time you come to town, but only if you’re willing to help with the kids, cool? HA. have a great Thursday, Robin, and thank you again for your incredibly nice comment…