The Birth of Grand Finale Osborne

Luke Fiser Osborne

So, it’s official. Grand Finale Osborne finally began his much-anticipated reign of the planet Earth yesterday at 1:08pm. Early indications suggest that he will be a sleepy, even-tempered and flatulent ruler. My incredibly beautiful, smart, funny and charming wife proved that she’s also a total gamer (as her tennis exploits have long attested) — she was intent on having a vaginal birth and she did just that. After much deliberation we opted to not subject our fifth and final child to a state of general namelessness, but will instead call him Luke Fiser Osborne. Luke weighed 7lbs 4.8oz at birth. Both Caroline and he are doing well.

More, later, I’m sure, but for now, I’ve posted a slide-show after the jump if you’d like to see a few pics of him. And one more thing: Caroline and I wanna thank everyone for all the love and support we feel lucky to have received. We have taken each and every such display as your biding offer to help us around the house as we get acclimated over the next few months. So we’ll be calling you. Repeatedly. Until you answer. So don’t screen us. ‘Cause that’d be bullshit. Oh. And feel free to just treat yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.

Luke Fiser Osborne
21.07.11 at 1:08pm
7lbs 4.8oz

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • SarahB


    • John Cave Osborne

      Sarah! thank you!

  • Susan Heim

    What a cutie pie! (The baby, John, not… well, never mind!) He’s a blessing. Congratulations!

    • John Cave Osborne

      susan, thank you so much!

  • homeanduncool

    Let the “Luke, I am your father” jokes commence.

    Congrats to you both.

    • John Cave Osborne

      uh oh. guess i gotta get on the phone w/ @seattleDad and tell him i accidentally encroached upon his URL.

  • Juli

    Beautiful baby boy! Congratulations to you, Caroline and the rest of your brood. Flatulent ruler sounds like a Mad Lib….love it. I went overboard with dairy (milk) when I was pregnant with Roo and she proved to be quite the flatulent ruler herself for the first 19 years (and counting). 

    • John Cave Osborne

      juli — thank you!

  • Karen

    Congratulations.  I love the pictures of Luke with Alli.  Have the triplets met him yet?  I bet that was an experience.

    • John Cave Osborne

      NO, karen. they haven’t met him yet. they came by yesterday, but he was still in the nursery for a series of (standard) tests. and, honestly, they were having such a meltdown seeing their mom all incapacitated (especially Kirby, our little girl). so they ended up bugging out before Luke got back to our room. we’re hoping that the meeting will go down today. we’ve got a, um, acclimation period on our hands, but i have a feeling that Luke will (somehow) mellow things out a bit. (please, God?)

  • Cheryl Stober

    Mazel tov – he’s adorable.

    • John Cave Osborne

      you’re sweet, Cheryl. thank you!

  • Anonymous

     Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful! Nice name, even though I was getting used to “Grand Finale.” BTW, your wife looks fabulous! It took me months to look even normal. I’m jealous. The photos of Allie and Luke are touching. Congratulations to all of you!

    • John Cave Osborne

      what a nice thing to say. all of that. and my wife? i she’s truly stunning. not sure how i got so lucky to end up with her… LOVE LOVE LOVE her. and my crew, too, of course.

  • Jean

    He is sooooo cute!!!!!  Congratulations to all the Osbornes, 7 and no longer growing!!!

    • John Cave Osborne

      yes. 7 and NO LONGER GROWING!

  • Camilla


    • John Cave Osborne

      camilla — thank you!

  • kara

    Doesn’t Caroline ever take a break from looking gorgeous?? She would definitely be excused from that task on the day of giving birth…but noooooo! So happy for your family and hopefully someday we’ll get to meet baby Luke!

    • John Cave Osborne

      NO, kara. caroline never, ever, ever takes a break from looking gorgeous. and truth be told? i’m getting a touch sick of it. it can be quite burdensome, you know. being married to a woman who always looks absolutely beautiful. i have a friend with the same problem. his name is josh. nice fellow. do you know him? :-)

  • Cindy

    Congrats.  Yep, “Luke, I am your father,” can’t wait!  We just had our first granddaughter born on Wed. (after 5 boys)  She is still nameless since Mom and Dad can’t agree on a name.  I mentioned Go Dot to them.  They didn’t get it! 

    Congrats to you all!!!

  • Heather

    Grats to you and Caroline, I’m so happy for your family!

    • John Cave Osborne

      heather, thank you so much!

  • Tara R.

    Congratulations to Caroline and you, and your whole family. Luke is amazingly beautiful… and yes, you can say a boy is beautiful, especially when it’s true.

    • John Cave Osborne

      you’re sweet. we think he’s beautiful, too. (now, when are you coming here to help?!)

  • muskrat

    Hooray!  Glad he’s here.  I’m just wondering where the big crimson “A” is on his little hat.  Must have turned around toward the back on accident.

    • John Cave Osborne

      indeed. on accident. funny thing is that one of our kids really did wear a baby hat w/ A on it. Sam. only it wasn’t crimson. and it was accompanied by hats that had B and C on it for Jack and Kirby…

  • s.a.

    He is absolutely gorgeous, which is simply not a given with newborns. You all look so happy and joyful, his biggest sister looks over the moon. Congratulations on a healthy baby boy. Such a miracle, this birth thing. Way to rock the VBAC, Caroline. Now that she is done having babies, in a few years when they are all in school she can get busy running a country or something. God knows the world needs some help. 

    • John Cave Osborne

      @s.a. — i, too, think Caroline could run a country. you’ve stopped by enough to know, i’m certain, that she’s the straw that stirs the drink around here. not sure she’ll ever understand how much i admired her strength to rock the VBAC. and, my goodness, what a primal bonding experience that was. i’m so glad i to be a part of a vaginal birth. miraculous, indeed. thanks for the nice comment. you always post such thoughtful words.

  • Anonymous

    A big congrats to you all!

    • John Cave Osborne

      thanks, jen! hope you and your wonderful crew are enjoying this (hot-ass) summer.

  • Cassie Moore

    Congratulations, he is so adorable!! So glad everyone is healthy.

    • John Cave Osborne

      @Cassie — thank you! i’m so glad that everyone is healthy, too. i’m a bit of a neurotic basket case, so i’d always get all freaked out about what could happen to C or the baby during the birth. so, yeah, so thankful that everyone is healthy. we just came home!

  • Elsabie

    Congratulations!  He is lovely :)

    • John Cave Osborne

      thank you, elsabie!

  • Miss A

    I read all the time, rarely ever comment, but welcome little man to this world, that you will brighten up! God bless all of you.
    Miss A

    • John Cave Osborne

      miss A, thank you so much for stopping by and reading here and again. and thanks, too, for such a lovely note. God bless you and your family, too, my friend.

  • Nubian

    Welcome to this crazy world Luke Fiser.  May your days be blessed with love, family, laughter, good health and great tennis genes. 

    • John Cave Osborne

      he was born in the ad court.

  • Seattledad

    Big Congrats John!  He’s a handsome boy for sure.

    Still waiting for that call…but I suppose you have bigger things on your mind right now.

    • John Cave Osborne

      would you settle for a text? or the LOL that i just gave your last comment?

  • Barbara Manatee

    He is adorable! Congratulations!! Oh..and it should be against the law to look that beautiful right after labor!

    • Barbara Manatee

      and by ‘beautiful’ I meant Caroline…not you! lol!

  • Hepalmer

    Many congratulations to all of you. John, really enjoyed reading you on babble and was so sad when you left! My due date was very close to Caroline’s, so really enjoyed reading all the posts. Our boy Patrick was born July 18th (he was nearly a luke too!)
    So glad grandfinale is here, again, many congratulations and best wishes
    Helen Palmer

    • John Cave Osborne

      Helen, that’s one of the nicest comments i’ve ever received. thank you so much for taking the time to leave it. many congrats to you, my friend! Patrick — what a great name. i’m so glad you found me at Babble — very cool that we shared part of our journey together. i love the folks at Babble and have an ongoing relationship with them. in fact, i start a new project over there next week. never sure what i’m allowed and not allowed to say on something like that, so i’d better not say anything for the moment, but once it’s “live,” i’ll be letting folks know about it over here. so i hope you’ll come back and visit.

      that is if you ever have time visit now that Patrick is here. thanks, again, for such a warm comment, Helen. it made my day. congrats again to you and your family!

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