General Namelessness

Me: Too bad you’re not giving birth to a horse.

C: Why?

Me: Because “horse with no name” is a recognized and accepted phrase within the American lexicon.

C: Well, with you as the dad, he could easily be a jackass. So you’ve got that.

This is clearly gonna be a game-time decision. Maybe we should just go with Sigourney Weaver.

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • DCUrbanDad

    How are you still married.

    • John Cave Osborne

      simple. candid communication. with lots of smart-ass subtext, of course…

  • heather patton reyda

    you know, it takes a baby longer to realize it’s name than it does a puppy, right? why get in a hurry?

    • John Cave Osborne

      that’s so obviously a thinly-veiled play at my dog, Heather. and there’s no way you’re gonna get him. well, unless he keeps sneaking into the nursery and sleeping on the day bed. b/c that’s starting to piss Caroline off a bit…

      • Patrick (yeah, that one)

        HA!  What happens when Heather becomes a full-fledged dognapper?  Other than that she starts robbing banks to pay for dog food and vet bills I mean. :-p

        Glad Caroline is doing well enough to zing you back still. 😉 

        • John Cave Osborne

          heather the dognapper.

  • Melisa Wells

    Caroline cracks me up. (sorry)

  • SarahB

    Good luck!

  • muskrat

    Hope everything goes well.  Why don’t you name him “Muskrat”?

    • John Cave Osborne

      because we don’t want his name to conjure up images of fecal matter.

  • Karen

    Glad to see Caroline in a hospital bed, assuming that this is a current picture.  You will figure out his name once he is born & it will end up being perfect for him.  My husband & I finalized our younger son’s name while I was on the phone with my MIL after his birth. 

    • John Cave Osborne

      @karen — that was a current picture! and i think we finally had it just before she started pushing. mama and baby are doing well. isn’t it funny the different ways people finalize a name?

  • Seattledad

    You two could take your show on the road.  After all those kids grow up, of course.

  • Tara R.

    I think you found your match with Caroline. Beautiful and quick witted… you don’t stand a chance.

    • John Cave Osborne

      @Tara — while Caroline is, indeed, beautiful and quick witted, and while i, indeed, have met my match, suffice it to say that i *do* stand a chance. in fact, i hold my own quite well! HA! come to Ktown! we need help!

  • Jwgmom

    Some of us are too old to learn to Twitter. Details please. I gather there is a baby?

    • John Cave Osborne

      no. no. i agree. (not that you’re too old, but that you shouldn’t bother to learn twitter.) if you’re on FB, you can see all kinds of pics on my wall and i *just* posted some pics on the blog. it was kinda hectic yesterday, or else i woulda gotten these up sooner. thanks for checking in!

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  • Anonymous

    Now your wife’s last comment was just too funny!

    • John Cave Osborne

      she’s quite clever, that wife of mine…