Introducing…

If you look inside our window, you’ll see a new addition! Image: MollyPop’s photostream via Creative Commons

So, yesterday started off as just another ordinary day. Well, except that it was the 4th of July and all. But my point is that it didn’t start off any differently than any other day. Aside from the firecracker vibe that comes along with Independence Day, it was just your average Monday. Little did we know that we were just hours away from the newest addition to our family.

Caroline and I took the kids to a party, but by 8:00, my lovely wife had had it — exhausted, and perhaps even a touch dehydrated. But Alli wanted to watch the fireworks, so we let her stay with a friend whose parents had offered to take her home.

And by the time they did, we had a new addition on our hands.

Melvin.

Melvin being…Melvin.

I guess a ride home for your nine-year-old comes with a complimentary goldfish these days.

What? OH. You thought I meant…NO, no. My bad. No. Not at all. Just a goldfish, y’all. Wow. Sorry for the confusion.

Still, you should know that both goldfish and Mama are feeling fine today.

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • http://suburbanscrawl.com Melisa Wells

    You suck. :)

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      i totally suck. that was incredibly lame and gimmicky. that said, i couldn’t resist b/c C and i spoke non-stop about how weird it was that we had a breathing entity in the house and it wasn’t our baby.

  • http://suburbanscrawl.com Melisa Wells

    You suck. :)

  • Life As Wife

    This post was a dirty, dirty trick!!

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      @LifeAsWife: I KNOW. very, very dirty. and lame. SO lame. (pls forgive me!)

  • Nubian

    Melvin has your eyes.

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      and my IQ.

  • Seattledad

    When MCO needs his bowl cleaned, who do you think that job is defaulting to? Meh, what’s one more life form to clean up after?  Good luck John.

  • Seattledad

    When MCO needs his bowl cleaned, who do you think that job is defaulting to? Meh, what’s one more life form to clean up after?  Good luck John.

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      MCO. strong work. and you’re right. one more? LAY UP.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=794474440 Wendy Wood Wisniewski

    meanie meanie jelly beanie.

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      horribly mean. i totally agree. i tried to make up for it today by posting a video of Caroline totally making fun of me. thanks for reading, WWW (love your name). and thanks for visiting!

  • http://clarkkentslunchbox.blogspot.com/ R_Mattocks

    Nicely played my friend. I was starting to feel a sense of relief for your poor wife and then BAM! Goldfish. You should’ve got triplets.