10 Funny Weiner Resignation Headlines

That Weiner looks kinda crooked, no? Image: David Boyle Creative Commons

Wow. So Weiner’s done. On the one hand, I’m good with it. I mean, it’s not so much what he did (though I, personally think it’s abhorrent behavior), but it’s how steadfastly he denied it. Simply put, I could never, ever tell such a significant lie not to mention tell such a lie to an entire country. I seriously don’t understand how anyone could do this, much less someone who has been voted into public office (presumably) by earning the confidence of countless constituents.

Yet, on the other hand, I’m quite sad. Because I so enjoyed making up Weiner headlines. Given the spike in traffic I received, I gather that you enjoyed it, too. So in honor of Weiner’s resignation, I’ve penned 10 last headlines about his resignation that I’d LOVE to see in print. Consider it my way of saying goodbye to a dick.

10. Friction Proves Too Much For Weiner
9. Weiner, Interrupted
8. Door Closes on Weiner
7. No Second Chance for Weiner
6. Roasted Weiner Finally Done
5. Democrats Succeed in Tossing Weiner
4. Weiner Ridden Out of Public Office
3. Deflated Weiner Will No Longer Work
2. Experienced Weiner Looking for a Job
1. The End of Weiner Has Come


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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • http://twitter.com/MamaBennie Terry Bennie

    HAHAHA Thank you for this.

  • Anonymous

    I liked your Weiner jokes, too! Thanks for the headlines!

  • Pingback: Top 10 Anthony Weiner Headlines I've Yet to Read

  • Anonymous

    Yesterday I taught my summer school kids when not to use “ironic” when they mean “fitting” discussing this current event. Yes. I am as mature as my tenth graders. But they won’t use ironic incorrectly again!