My Attempt at Laundry? More Like the Dense Cycle

One of my favorite sites I write for is the GoodMenProject. They recently asked if I’d do a quick bit about laundry and I was thrilled they did. For I have very strong, albeit detached feelings about laundry and it centers around my beautiful wife’s mastery of it. It was fun to write, but then again, it’s not every day I get to use the word load. Or make parallels between my laundry life and impotence.

I know. I’m like 15. Here it is, however, should you still wanna read it:

Almost as daunting to me as going off to college was the prospect of doing my own laundry. Until I realized something, that is. Laundry’s a lay up—one I made countless times armed only with a handful of change, a box of detergent, and a rudimentary understanding of my exciting new world which was suddenly subdivided into tidy little categories defined by water temperature and fabric color.

That’s not to say I didn’t have an occasional mishap. Indeed, I did. Often it was my liberal interpretation of what, exactly, fit into the whites category. Hot water, it turns out, isn’t always as forgiving as one might like. Or so I gathered by the plethora of ambiguously pink apparel that suddenly graced my wardrobe.

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.