Your Wife’s Pregnancy Is What You Watch

Caroline's surprise pregnancy is starting to resemble something...

Have you ever heard the phrase you are what you eat? Certain amount of truth to it, right? Well I’ve got another one for you. Your wife’s pregnancy is what you watch. Because that’s what seems to be happening to us.

Let me make something very clear. I’m NOT afraid to watch sports. Nor, for that matter, am I afraid to watch the NFL playoffs. In fact, I’ve been doing so with my typical abandon this year despite the fact that it often feels like I have more kids than the Walton’s.

Plus the Brady’s.

And the more I watch these NFL playoffs, the more my wife’s pregnancy seems to resemble them.

Let’s start with the esthetically obvious. At 13 weeks, my lovely and petite wife is starting to show — just a slight hump between her breasts and hips. About the size of, well, a football.

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.