The Million Dollar Question

The million-dollar question.

Yesterday was a big day. It was our first ultrasound. Technically, it’s still a little early. Lovie’s only six weeks along. But the nurse tech was nice enough to make an exception for us given how anxious she knew we were.

The last time Lovie was pregnant, I still owned the countertop business. And we were particularly busy at the time.  That’s why my wife suggested that I stay at work. After all, she knew that if I were to take a couple of hours in the middle of my day to accompany her, I’d be home that much later that night. And in those days, I was already coming home late enough as it was. So I skipped it.

When Lovie asked me if I wanted to come this time, I was quick to answer. “You’re damn right I do,” I began. “The last ultrasound I missed yielded triplets. Missing this one is a chance I’m just not willing to take.”

Since the moment we found out that Lovie was pregnant, the million dollar question on both of our minds has been How many? All our friends told us to relax. The odds were overwhelming that there was just one.

But when it comes to odds, Lovie and I have proven that we’re not afraid to land on the slim ones. In fact, for Lovie to even get pregnant without any help was extremely unlikely. It was that unlikelihood which served as the answer to yet another million-dollar question often asked to us by our close friends — If y’all didn’t want any more children, why didn’t you ever do anything about it?

It’s not like we never discussed it. A few days before her C-section for the triplets, I encouraged Lovie to get her tubes tied. “You know. Since the hood’ll be up, and all. May as well let the mechanic multi-task.”

“You’re a jackass. You know that?” she asked. “I don’t want to get my tubes tied. Why don’t you just get snipped?”

Simple. This jackass is scared of the knife. Plus, I hate frozen peas. The last thing I’d wanna do is sit on ’em. Various incarnations of this stalemate manifested itself over the past three years. And after each one, Lovie and I were left to take solace in the aforementioned unlikelihood turned million-dollar-question answer. Why didn’t we ever do anything about it?

Because we thought it was all but impossible for Lovie to get pregnant.

Of course, that notion failed to take into account one undeniable fact. Since the day I was born, I’ve been flat-out getting shit done, y’all. PERIOD. It’s how I operate. So in that respect, I suppose it should have come as no surprise.

But it was a surprise, and though we had gotten our hands around it to a certain extent, I was still completely and totally freaked out as I sat in the waiting room alongside Caroline yesterday, nervously tweeting a rhetorical question to my tweeps. Surely there’s just one, right?

I, in fact, was not so sure. My gut told me that there were two in hers. Possibly even three.

“I think I’d actually almost be happy if there were only two,” I said to Lovie while we waited.

“You talk like there’s a litter inside me,” she uttered while casually flipping through a magazine. “I’ve gotten good with it. No matter how many,” she said.

“Even if there’s three?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, even if there’s three. I mean, what are we gonna do, you know?”

“Honey,” I started, “I don’t know what you’re gonna do if there’s three. But I know what I’m gonna do. But before I tell you, I want you to know that this was an incredibly difficult decision. That said, if you’re pregnant with triplets, I’d have no choice but to leave your ass.”

She handled it rather well, responding to my shocking announcement with a simple question. “Oh yeah? What if there’s just one?”

“One? You’re good. One and I’m stayin’.”

“Oooh. Lucky me. What about two?”

I looked out the window and pondered that one. Funny I didn’t have an answer, given that my gut had us pegged for twins.”Two would be a game-time decision,” I finally concluded.

And as fate would have it, a game-time decision that I won’t have to make. Because the ultrasound revealed just one gestational sac. (Praise the Lord.) Of course, there could always be two babies inside one sac via identical multiples, but there was only one yolk and, most importantly, only one heartbeat detected.

And as I saw the pitter-patter of our little baby’s heart via the grayscale image on the GE monitor, mine grew warm with love. For the first time since I went into shock shortly after pulling out of the Dunkin’ Donut’s parking lot, the reality of the situation finally dawned on me. I could tell from the look on Caroline’s face that it had dawned on her, too.

After the ultrasound, we raced like kids into the parking lot, both wearing a grin from ear to ear, one that only got bigger as we squeezed each other tight right next to our car. You know what I think now? I think that on some level, Caroline and I were way more open to having another baby than either of us ever realized.

God willing, in about 34 weeks from now, we’ll be doing just that. And I wish I could somehow convey  just how fired up we are about it.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. This will be one of our most special ones, yet.

Photo: stock.xchng

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • Anonymous

    Great post. I’m so happy for you! :)

    • Anonymous

      thanks. no matter how hard i tried, i couldn’t seem to work in vampires.

  • Annette Winston

    Caroline is one lucky woman. Which is not to say that you’re not one lucky man. I’m just sayin’, “Caroline is one lucky woman.”

    • Anonymous

      annette — that was SO nice of you to say. i hope you and your crew have a great thanksgiving!

    • Anonymous

      OH. i think i finally get what you were saying. that she’s lucky b/c she’s not gonna have to carry more than one. and here i was thinking you thought she was lucky b/c of my emotional availability.

      when it’s all said and done, annette, i’m a garden-variety dumbass. but one whose thankful that you stop by and read for time to time. as well as for your friendship!

  • Gigi aka Tripletmom

    Just one baby? You guys can do that with your eyes closed and a hand tied behind your backs. Sooo happy for you :)

    • Anonymous

      thanks, Gigi! don’t forget to email me so i can send you a book!

    • Anonymous

      hi gigi. just a reminder to zip me your address if you’d like for me to send you a book. no biggie either way!

      hope you’re doing well.

  • Eric D. Bolton

    Just One?!?!?

    I totally expected more from you. You have a blog to think about…

    How lame..:)

    • Anonymous

      totally, eric. so very singleton of me. i’ll try to do better the next time i accidentally get my wife pregnant! (HA!)

      have a wonderful thanksgiving, buddy.

  • muskrat

    This must be what life as a Dugger feels like.

    • Anonymous

      duggers. *shudder*

      another thing that makes me shake is the comment you left at SD re: Korea. it is scary. and you are one of the many brave people i’m fortunate enough to know who feels that news way differently than the rest of us. (though, the significance of what’s going on there is not lost on me as it seems to be so many others — i can’t believe it doesn’t get more coverage given what a powder keg it is…) thank you, brother, for serving our country.
      and for being an unparalleled smart ass.
      war eagle. bitch.

      • muskrat

        Cats! Cats! Cats!

  • Jamie Hahn

    John and Caroline I’m so happy for you! Sydney told me you were expecting again… what a miracle! I can’t wait to see your triplets and Allie being a big sisters and brother again.
    Jamie Scruggs Hahn

    • Anonymous

      Jamie! Hello! And thank you. Do you know how much I LOVE Sydney? I’m so thankful she’s a part of our life. She’s one of my all-time faves. (Get her to tell you the story of why she detested me when we first met some 8 years ago!)

      Happy Thanksgiving!

  • The JackB

    I am happy for your guys. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

    • Anonymous

      Jack — I owe you an email and will get it to you soon. In the meanwhile, I hope you and yours have a very, very Happy Thanksgiving. Like I have in James, in you, i, too, have found a friend. A damn good one at that.

      • The JackB

        You too my friend. Be safe and enjoy your turkey.

  • SeattleDad

    Congrats guys. That is awesome. Just imagine your Thanksgiving next year!

    • Anonymous

      No doubt, James. Imagine, indeed! I’ll repeat something I said to you around this time last year — though we’ve never met IRL, I feel like I’ve found a friend in you. You were one of the first blogs I ever read and to this date remain one of my favorites. There’s something very earnest and real about your accounts. They’re also very well written. But best of all, they penned by a guy who I can tell is crazy about his wife and child. Happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving, my friend. I hope y’all have a wonderful day!

  • Tara R.

    Excellent way to celebrate Thanksgiving. Hope you and yours have a wonderful Turkey Day.

    • Anonymous

      thanks, Tara! (we’ll be eating w/ vampires. who vant to suck oww-a blood) LOL

      hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

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  • tyrone mitchell

    Congratulations to the both of you. I laughed when she said you’re gone if there’s three in the oven.

    • Anonymous

      tyrone! HA! it was definitely one of those jokes that had just a hint of truth to it. but, seriously, we have a built in divorce-proof plan for our family.

      whoever leaves gets the kids. double HA! i hope you have a fantastic Thanksgiving, buddy.

  • Anonymous

    I feel like such an ass that I missed your post on the big announcement. Holy Crap! What a surprise. Anyway, I am so happy for you both. This is truly awesome.

    And you that that one baby is going to be a piece of cake, right? :)

    • Anonymous

      jen — don’t be silly. and, yes, what a surprise! i hope you and your wonderful crew have a great Thanksgiving!

  • beta dad

    Gaah! I was on the edge of my seat. Congrats and happy Thanksgiving!

    • Anonymous

      thanks, buddy. happy thanksgiving to you guys on the left side.

  • SarahB

    What a fun post! Congratulations that all is healthy (and singleton) thus far!

    • Anonymous

      SarahB, sorry i’m late in replying, but i just wanted to thank you for your comment!

  • Didactic Pirate

    That’s awesome. Both the pregnancy, and the fact that the ultrasound gave you the answer you seemed to have been hoping for.

    Not that you wouldn’t have been psyched to discover that your wife was carrying quintuplets, of course. But I was starting to picture as as a harried Dick Van Patten, circa Eight is Enough.

    • Anonymous

      nicolas was the shit. and tommy was quite the lady’s man. i think it was the feathered hair. (playing off of your 8 is enough reference)

      dick van patten is part of a game i made up in college. wanna know how it went? (tough, you’re going to anyway) the object was to use a celebrity’s name in the following was: i’d like to BLANK her BLANK.

      naturally, anyone w/ the first name dick was a lay-up. you know. i’d like to dick her van patten. or dick her van dyke. or dick her york. but my three personal faves were i’d like to roger her daultry / sigourney her weaver / oksana her baiul.

      sadly, the game still amuses me.

  • Weasel Momma

    I have been off the radar for a while and just saw this. For that I apologize. I wish you guys the best of everything and hoe for a safe and uneventful pregnancy. WTG JCO!

    • Anonymous

      WM—no long-standing fave like you ever needs to apologize to me. i’m a horrible blog reader these days. i barely even read my own. hope all is well. i owe you a visit! xoxo

  • http://LifeofaNewDad otter321

    I’m ecstatic for you that there is only one. I was worried about the possibility that they might not let you blog from the nut house. Now you seem safe. Hope ya’ll had a Happy Thanksgiving.

    And congrats to your Vols on becoming bowl eligible.

    • Anonymous

      DUDE! how BIG was that? (the Vols becoming bowl eligible, that is)

      and how big was your win over LSU? BCS, baby. good stuff. you’re pretty much the only razorback i know, so each time they’re on, i kinda root them on in your honor. i was stoked to see them hang on last weekend. (thought they’d win going into it, though, so can’t say i was suprised…) and thanks. hope you had a good Thanksgiving, too. ours was awesome.

      • http://LifeofaNewDad otter321

        We were at the game and it was awesome. Our first BCS bowl now if we can just get Auburn to win Saturday. Fun times for us.

        And ditto on the rooting thing. I have cheered for the Vols in your honor all year.

  • An

    Congrats! Just curious, are you guys planning to VBAC?

    • Anonymous

      An! that is such a great question. no decisions have been made yet, but she’ll definitely be reading up and think about it a ton.