Celine Dion Names Twins — Also Has Celebrity Doppelganger

Days after Celine Dion‘s fraternal twins were born, they finally have a name. One will go by Eddy, after the producer of Dion’s first five albums, Eddy Marnay. The other will be called Neslon, for Nelson Mandela, with whom the singer once spent a whopping three minutes.

Said her rep: “In just the few minutes [Celine and her husband] were able to spend with [Mandela], they were impressed by the human being he is.” (If sanctimony and skewed perceptions of one’s significance make you sick, feel free to hurl. I just did.)

The news really devastated me. Why? Because I had heard that Celine was having a hard time naming the boys, and I wanted to help. I thought she should name them after her celebrity doppelganger. She could have called one Dustin and the other Diamond. Because let’s face it, the homely crooner, even when basked in the soft light her photo shoots undoubtedly require, bears an uncanny resemblance to Screech of Saved by the Bell fame.

Take away her razor for three days and the diva's Screech, y'all.

Here’s a fun fact about Celine. Did you know that she met her husband when she was 12 and he was 38? That’s not creepy. Hey, come to think of it, Celine’s husband, Rene Angelil, has a doppelganger also! James Avery, from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

I wonder if Carlton knows that Screech married Uncle Phil?

Well, one things for certain. It’ll sure be interesting to find out who Screech and Uncle Phil’s Celine and Rene’s twins end up looking like. It’s bound to be someone famous. Because not only do their mom and dad BOTH have celebrity doppelgangers, so does their older brother. The little guy’s a spitting image of a miniature Ozzy Osbourn.

Screech, Uncle Phil, and mini-Ozzy. Cray Train, indeed.

Photos courtesy of Visopsys.org, Canada.com, LightStalkers, TVonline, and People.

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • http://www.worldofweasels.com/ Weasel Momma

    You are a little bit (lot) nuts. That’s why I like you.

    • Anonymous

      Greetings, Pot. hope you have a nice halloween.


  • http://www.pjmullen.com/ PJ Mullen

    For shame Uncle Phil. That’s not a little creepy, that’s a shit-ton creepy.

    • Anonymous

      ah, yes. the shit-ton. it’s metric. (and i can’b believe more is not made out of that fact. somethin’ ain’t right w/ ol’ Celine.

  • http://twitter.com/homeanduncool homeanduncool

    Are they renaming that move Screech performed in his porno (I only read about it and never saw it — I SWEAR!) the “Dirty Celine”?

    • Anonymous

      THAT is OTH funny. and, it could be turned into a double entendre by pronouncing it Cee-line (as in line you stand in to play off of feline.) just the kind of work a varsity letterman such as yourself is regularly coming up with, i suspect. well done, kevin.

  • http://LifeofaNewDad otter321

    I’m with PJ. I expected better from Uncle Phil. You just never know these celebs like you think you do. Celine Dion has always creeped me out anyway.

    • Anonymous

      she’s horrendous. happy halloween and GL against Vanderbilt. (i think that’s who y’all have…)

      • http://LifeofaNewDad otter321

        Thanks. If we need luck against Vandy then I am going to spend the rest of the season deer hunting. Good luck to you against SC. Because of you I have been pulling for the Vols to get a win somehow. That’s what sports fan friends do I think.

  • Whit

    Three minutes in Mandela is better than no minutes in Mandela. I think that’s how the saying goes.

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm. There is definitely something wrong with the whole thing.

  • Didactic Pirate

    Uncanny. Can’t believe I never saw the resemblance. And now that I think about it, it occurs to me that I’ve never seen Celine Dion and Screech in the same place at the same time.

    You don’t suppose……

    • Anonymous

      it’s funny you say that. b/c i’ve been running with that Celine Dion / Screech thing for nearly a decade. and one of my taglines has been: “and i dunno about you, but i’ve NEVER seen them at the same place at the same time. and i’ve been lookin’.”

      good stuff, man.

  • http://theexceptionalman.com/ Caleb Gardner

    Yes – the celebrity doppelganger lives on!

  • sissyintexas

    Clicked over from Katie’s blog.

    This is too funny. Celine Dion is one of the spookiest beings ever.

    • Anonymous

      @sissyintexas — i LOATH celine. and i LOVE katie. i’m so glad you visited. i hope you’ll come back. i’ve got some great posts coming up.