Yarn Spinning 101

Today’s Thursday, and that means it should be time for another JCO or JC NO. You know, when I relay some weird story and you decide whether it’s true or not. Only I’ve done little other than work with PJ Mullen on revamping my website during the past week, which has left no time for me to write this week’s installment. But I still thought I should at least comment on last week’s tale.

If you tuned in, you read my account of the days back in college when I’d serve as a loquacious decoy who would distract convenient store clerks by bullshitting aimlessly with them while my friends “de-boarded” diet cokes from their twelve-pack containers before replacing them with twelve Old Milwaukee’s Light Bests — all so we could purchase beer in coke’s clothing on Sundays, when, of course, beer sales weren’t allowed on Hilton Head Island, SC.

Y’all were split on this one, though a little more than half of you who commented didn’t believe the story. And I don’t blame you. It was so unbelievable to me, that I actually had to call one of my co-horts to confirm that we did, in fact, stoop to such lows during that era. Regrettably, my friend was happy to do just that. Which means, as implausible as it sounds, the tale is a true one.

Props to web-designer extraordinaire and all around talented guy, PJ Mullen, along with Wendy Wisniewski, Patrick, and WeaselMomma for getting it right. But a special shout out to a fifth person who also got it right — SeattleDad — for the sound logic that led him the the correct answer. “College kids,” he commented “will do about anything for beer.”

No argument here, counselor.

Next Thursday, I’ll return with yet another questionable tale and let y’all be the judge as to whether or not it’s fact or fiction. But before I sign off, I’d like to give special props to my boy, Dad of Divas, who was so convinced I was telling the truth in the first JCO or JC NO (Calamities in Call Screening) the he said if I was, indeed, fibbing, he’d give me the Mark Twain Yarn Spinning Award, whatever the hell that meant. Call me sensitive, but I thought his remark was a thinly veiled insult akin to “pathological liar.” Until he emailed me this.

DOD — you may be a ball-buster, my friend, but you are, indeed, a man of your word. Thank you for my award. Y’all go visit DOD. He’s a great guy with a great site.

Final note — thanks to all who voted for me in the Man of the House “World’s Greatest Dad” contest. Honestly? I don’t even consider myself the greatest dad on my street, much less the greatest dad in the world, but I’m still hopeful I’ll win. Because if I do, I will donate the entire $2,000 prize money to ChildHelp.org, a leading national non-profit which benefits the victims of child abuse and neglect. I may not be the world’s greatest dad, but I am a good dad, and sometimes a good dad does what he can for kids who have dads who aren’t very good at all.

I hope you’ll help me in that cause by clicking THIS LINK, then clicking the vote icon. It will literally only take you five seconds (unless you wanna watch my video). Even if you voted yesterday, you’re allowed to vote once every twenty-four hours, so please consider voting again. Thanks!

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ The JackB

    Well it appears that I have struck out again. Damn, damn, damn. Now pass the beer. 😉

  • http://www.pjmullen.com/ PJ Mullen

    Finally, 1-2 baby! Now I remember that it was SeattleDad’s solid logic that pushed me towards my vote. And you are being far too kind. I’m just a hack that knows how to use tools other people develop in a slightly above average manner.

  • http://LifeofaNewDad otter321

    I didn’t read the original tale earlier, but now I am so in awe of your I don’t know what to do. You and your friends were truly visionaries. I voted again. Good luck.

  • http://fathermuskrat.com/ muskrat

    I wish I hadn’t been away from my computer last Thursday, ’cause I totally would’ve answered this one correctly. Thief. Now the whole “I went to Vandy but root for UT” thing makes sense.

  • Anonymous

    Ok… I have never been called a ball buster… but hey if the shoe fits! I do think your award though is definitely suited to you and your blog, and no, I’m not calling you a liar!

  • Patrick (yeah, that one)

    As stated previously, I KNOW your skill with and talent for doing the very things that last story talked about. Perhaps it is simple envy, but I was certain you could have done things much more difficult than that. :-p

  • SeattleDad

    Woot! I am batting a thousand here. Also, definitely will be voting for you in the contest.