Our Pookie Gets Kookie–Lets Loose on Dr. Seuss

Pookie and her classmates paid tribute to the late, great Dr. Seuss in honor of his March 2nd birthday by creating their very own version of his 1974 classic There’s a Wocket in My Pocket. Lovie and I are usually well aware of Pookie’s various assignments, but this one caught us off guard. In fact, the first time we learned of it was when she brought the completed project home earlier this week.

How great is that? Seriously? I mean who doesn’t love Dr. Seuss? I couldn’t wait to read all of the nonsensical rhymes that these sweet children had come up with.

One girl depicted the mysterious presence of a JHOTTER on her FLYSWATTER, which was drinking her flavored WATER. Adorable!

Another child wrote of a SHAT on his CAT which liked his friend MATT. I kinda wondered if this kid wasn’t confused, though. I’d be willing to bet it was nothing more than a CAT who SHAT on a MATT, but, hey, it ain’t my book.

One boy detailed the presence of a WACKET in his JACKET which was making a lot of RACKET. Well, I suppose that one’s okay as long as he didn’t WACKET in his JACKET. Because that really would be a RACKET, you know.

Another boy reported a LONUT on his DONUT that was eating his COCONUT. Good effort, but probably my least favorite of the bunch thus far. I’d put it just behind the one about the cat that was taking a shit all over the place. And, hey, I don’t mean to pry, but you really don’t want anything messing with your DONUTS, especially if it’s eating your COCONUT for crying out loud. Plus, it’s a little early for the onset of a LONUT, don’t you think?

If I were that kid’s father, I’d be hauling his ass to the doctor post haste. What’s that? No appointments available? No problem. Me and Mr. LONUT, here, will be happy to wait. You know, just in case someone bails. We need to see you ASAP. That’s right. We don’t mess around when it comes to the parts down there. The last thing we want is for this thing to get worse and turn into a case of Green Eggs and Ham. I don’t care what Sam has to say about it. You do NOT want that.

I waited with bated breath until I finally came across Pookie’s contribution. It’s the second one on the page below.

“Lovie! We need to redo the password on the DVR. I’m pretty sure Pookie’s been watching Meet the Parents!”

Is it just me, or does that font make the “o” in “Focker” look a lot like a “u?”

“Look on the bright side,” I told Lovie. “At least the sport’s not called sucker. Then we’d have a real problem on our hands. Oh, and don’t forget to put that boy with the LONUT issue on the blacklist, okay honey? The last thing we want is for that kid to wind up taking Pookie to the prom one day. I’m not so sure about the one with the JACKET either. Better put him down, too. Just in case.”

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • lesleehorner

    OK, the picture on that one is awesome. He’s playing a guitar and kicking a soccer ball! This was funny! Thanks for sharing.

  • lesleehorner

    OK, the picture on that one is awesome. He’s playing a guitar and kicking a soccer ball! This was funny! Thanks for sharing.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    Old Doc. Seuss is a personal friend of mine, love those stories.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    Old Doc. Seuss is a personal friend of mine, love those stories.

  • http://www.tempestbeauty.com Mandy

    Hah! This is great! What a cool project! Pook has got some great artistic talents… I mean, her guitar even has an on/off switch and a volume control.

  • http://www.tempestbeauty.com Mandy

    Hah! This is great! What a cool project! Pook has got some great artistic talents… I mean, her guitar even has an on/off switch and a volume control.

  • http://worldofweasels.blogspot.com WeaselMomma

    I’m pretty sure Pookie learned the word Focker at home.

  • http://worldofweasels.blogspot.com WeaselMomma

    I’m pretty sure Pookie learned the word Focker at home.

  • http://www.holymolytoledos.blogspot.com Susy

    Classic! She did GREAT!

  • http://www.holymolytoledos.blogspot.com Susy

    Classic! She did GREAT!

  • mama2point0

    I love this project idea! So clever! And Pookie’s is my favorite cause “Meet the Parents” happens to be one of my all-time favorite movies! I think you have a future screenwriter on your hands there, jco! :-)

  • mama2point0

    I love this project idea! So clever! And Pookie’s is my favorite cause “Meet the Parents” happens to be one of my all-time favorite movies! I think you have a future screenwriter on your hands there, jco! :-)

  • http://www.loulousviews.com Loukia

    Hilarious!

  • http://www.loulousviews.com Loukia

    Hilarious!

  • http://surprisedmom.blogspot.com SurprisedMom

    Pookie’s contribution is absolutely great! I love this project Pookie and her classmates completed. How inventive all of the kids were. I am another Dr. Suess fan and I think he’d be proud of Pookie and her classmates.

    And, John, by the time Pookie is old enough to date, you are going to have pages and pages of blacklisted names. Just sayin’ :)

  • http://surprisedmom.blogspot.com SurprisedMom

    Pookie’s contribution is absolutely great! I love this project Pookie and her classmates completed. How inventive all of the kids were. I am another Dr. Suess fan and I think he’d be proud of Pookie and her classmates.

    And, John, by the time Pookie is old enough to date, you are going to have pages and pages of blacklisted names. Just sayin’ :)

  • http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com Tara R.

    You should be so proud. Maybe Ben Stiller will sign her as a new writer on his next movie.

    This was a cool class project.

  • http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com Tara R.

    You should be so proud. Maybe Ben Stiller will sign her as a new writer on his next movie.

    This was a cool class project.

  • http://sahdpdx.wordpress.com gylcol

    It is a catchy rhyme though
    “Are you a pot head Focker?”

  • http://sahdpdx.wordpress.com gylcol

    It is a catchy rhyme though
    “Are you a pot head Focker?”

  • http://www.reallyareyouserious.com Krystyn

    Well, the project idea sure is awesome.

    But, I’m with you. That “O” sure does look like a “U”.

    I wonder what I would get in a high school classroom.

  • http://www.reallyareyouserious.com Krystyn

    Well, the project idea sure is awesome.

    But, I’m with you. That “O” sure does look like a “U”.

    I wonder what I would get in a high school classroom.

  • http://www.reallyareyouserious.com Krystyn

    PS Your email is no where to be found, right? How can I respond to your comment? I sooo want to!

  • http://www.reallyareyouserious.com Krystyn

    PS Your email is no where to be found, right? How can I respond to your comment? I sooo want to!

  • http://daddyfiles.com Daddy Files

    Oh wow. I read the one above Pookie’s too quickly and nearly had a heart attack. I thought there was a Gock on his…well, you get the idea. I was wondering where kids that young learned about venereal diseases.

  • http://daddyfiles.com Daddy Files

    Oh wow. I read the one above Pookie’s too quickly and nearly had a heart attack. I thought there was a Gock on his…well, you get the idea. I was wondering where kids that young learned about venereal diseases.

  • http://pegbur7.wordpress.com pegbur7

    Too funny. I always love when kids do cookbooks and stuff. You get some really interesting recipes that way too!

    Our kids school always had a “book” project each year where the kids wrote a book, illustrated it and then they used that HARD cardboard stuff and self sticking shelf paper to “bind” them. I think we still have most of them. My #3 was reading them the other night laughing like crazy because they are so funny!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  • http://pegbur7.wordpress.com pegbur7

    Too funny. I always love when kids do cookbooks and stuff. You get some really interesting recipes that way too!

    Our kids school always had a “book” project each year where the kids wrote a book, illustrated it and then they used that HARD cardboard stuff and self sticking shelf paper to “bind” them. I think we still have most of them. My #3 was reading them the other night laughing like crazy because they are so funny!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  • http://www.realmendriveminivans.com PJ Mullen

    I’ve read that book to little man so many times that I sometimes come up with my own lines, but it looks like Pookie and her class are much more creative that me. And I’d definitely get those lonuts checked out ASAP.

  • http://www.realmendriveminivans.com PJ Mullen

    I’ve read that book to little man so many times that I sometimes come up with my own lines, but it looks like Pookie and her class are much more creative that me. And I’d definitely get those lonuts checked out ASAP.

  • http://www.madd0g.org Mo

    I loved Seuss and particularly like the “SHAT on his CAT” snippet. I’ll bet that was a great read. Personally, I think doing that to a cat is cruel but…

  • http://www.madd0g.org Mo

    I loved Seuss and particularly like the “SHAT on his CAT” snippet. I’ll bet that was a great read. Personally, I think doing that to a cat is cruel but…

  • http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com Otter321

    Fun project and really funny stuff. I love shat on the mat. Too funny. Focker is great too. Leave it to the kids to come up with all these ways to say our favorite curse words.

  • http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com Otter321

    Fun project and really funny stuff. I love shat on the mat. Too funny. Focker is great too. Leave it to the kids to come up with all these ways to say our favorite curse words.

  • http://liayf.blogspot.com Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Fa

    HaHa! That is too funny.

    Too often there is Shat on my Cat, and it is where I just Sat!

  • http://liayf.blogspot.com Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)

    HaHa! That is too funny.

    Too often there is Shat on my Cat, and it is where I just Sat!

  • http://www.irrationaldad.com Joe @ IrrationalDad

    I didn’t think us men needed to worry about getting Lonut until we were in our 40′s. This isn’t fair.

    It’s too bad she didn’t draw nipples on the Rocker Focker. Because THAT would have rocked!

  • http://www.irrationaldad.com Joe @ IrrationalDad

    I didn’t think us men needed to worry about getting Lonut until we were in our 40′s. This isn’t fair.

    It’s too bad she didn’t draw nipples on the Rocker Focker. Because THAT would have rocked!

  • http://joyco.wordpress.com joyco

    Oh my freaking God, that just made me laugh so hard that tears are coming out of my eyes. Seriously! I’m gonna have to recreate this project w/ my boys when they’re older and have more words. Awesome, thanks for the laugh.

  • http://joyco.wordpress.com joyco

    Oh my freaking God, that just made me laugh so hard that tears are coming out of my eyes. Seriously! I’m gonna have to recreate this project w/ my boys when they’re older and have more words. Awesome, thanks for the laugh.

  • chriskoenig4324

    Holy cow… I had a good laugh at that gaff.

    So… triplets… wow. We just have one so far and I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown.

    If you’re feeling really brave… you should go to my sisters blog… she’s pregnant with her THIRTEENTH!!! Yes… I said 13. Don’t worry… me and the wife don’t plan on having near that many.

    Great site BTW.

  • chriskoenig4324

    Holy cow… I had a good laugh at that gaff.

    So… triplets… wow. We just have one so far and I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown.

    If you’re feeling really brave… you should go to my sisters blog… she’s pregnant with her THIRTEENTH!!! Yes… I said 13. Don’t worry… me and the wife don’t plan on having near that many.

    Great site BTW.

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