Triplet Standard Time

The blurry red numbers looking back at me from the clock atop the bedside table weren’t the ones I was expecting. It couldn’t have been that late. The sun wasn’t even up. At least I didn’t think it was. If it were, our three little roosters would have been cock-a-doodle-doo-ing through the monitor. And they weren’t. I scooted closer to Lovie and buried my face back into the pillows before curiosity got the best of me, forcing me to groggily lift my head yet again. This time the red numbers were a little clearer, as was the reason why they seemed to be at odds with the environment around me. I’d lost an hour to that dastardly devil yet again. Daylight Savings Time.

“Honey,” I whispered to Lovie. “What are we gonna do about the trips?”

“What do you mean?”

“The time change. We lost an hour.”

“We didn’t lose an hour,” she answered. “We moved our clocks forward an hour.”

“Right. It’s almost eight, but it’s really almost seven which is why the triplets haven’t made a peep yet. If we get them up in a few minutes like normal, they’d lose an hour of sleep.”

“What time is it again?”

“Five before eight.”

“So it’s the old five before nine?”

“Honey,” I answered. “Do I need to make you a chart?”

Once Lovie had finally mastered the new-time situation, the question of which strategy to employ with A, B, and C still remained. What little peace we’ve managed to attain around the house is due to a strict schedule. For that peace to continue, the schedule could not be compromised, which meant that the time change had to be handled with great care.

If we woke them up too early, there’d be hell to pay thanks to tired, fussy toddlers. But if we let them sleep too late, we’d never get them down for their nap at one, or, even worse, for their bedtime at seven. The ensuing domino effect would spill into the next day, and the longer they were off their schedule, the harder it would be to get them back on it. Ultimately, we decided to split the difference and wake them up a little past the new eight, then put them down a touch later than usual for their naps, thus setting the table for a normal bed time of seven.

The morning was sheer hell. As it wore on, one thing became clear. A, B, and C didn’t give a rat’s ass about Daylight Savings Time. It was also clear they didn’t care that Lovie and I were coming off of a rare night out. A rare, late night out. Nope. No sympathy from them. If anything, they turned it up a notch.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we thought they’d care about the time change, or the late night. After all, they don’t care that our dog’s name is Briggs. They call him “Move, Briggs.”

C doesn’t care to distinguish between ma’am and sir, constantly calling me “ma’am” no matter how many times I correct her. She also doesn’t care that her “no, ma’am” sounds more like “snowman.”

B doesn’t care that 70% of all his bathroom efforts end with a stream of pee on the floor. Little things like urine trajectory simply haven’t hit his radar. I guess you could call him our whiz kid. Don’t worry. We’re working on getting him to point that thing down.

And A doesn’t care that he’s not supposed to climb out of his crib. He also doesn’t care that he’s not supposed to play in the toilet, regularly parlaying these forbidden activities in one fell swoop. Once apprehended, he’d just assume go right back to bed. Why? Because he doesn’t care that both pajama sleeves are soaked all the way up to his shoulders.

Once we got them down on Sunday night (at seven) we knew that the extra effort we had exuded all day to combat sixty missing minutes (not to mention fatigue), went completely unappreciated if not unnoticed altogether.

A, B, and C don’t care about stuff like that. They don’t care that minor inconveniences for singleton parents are head-scratching riddles for us. And they shouldn’t care.

That’s our job.

And we’re good at it.

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About john cave osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as DisneyBaby, Babble, YahooShine, TLC and the Huffington Post. He was also referenced by Jezebel one time, but he’s pretty sure they were making fun of him. He and his wife, Caroline, live with their five children and spastic dog in Knoxville, TN. Nothing annoys him more than joke-heavy bios written in the third person, with the possible exception of Corey Feldman.

  • @grnladybug Lauri

    Love your trip stories (realities) John!

  • @grnladybug Lauri

    Love your trip stories (realities) John!

  • http://worldofweasels.blogspot.com WeaselMomma

    I am sure that C does indeed no the difference between Sir and Ma’am. You ate being mocked and pwned by a 2 year old.

    B is certainly in awe of urine trajectory, but is amused by the fountain show and watching the clean-up crew. He enjoys wielding his power over his staff.

    C just likes a life of adventure and watching the washing machine spin and slosh.

    3, 2 year olds are toying with you like a cat does an injured mouse.

  • http://worldofweasels.blogspot.com WeaselMomma

    I am sure that C does indeed no the difference between Sir and Ma’am. You ate being mocked and pwned by a 2 year old.

    B is certainly in awe of urine trajectory, but is amused by the fountain show and watching the clean-up crew. He enjoys wielding his power over his staff.

    C just likes a life of adventure and watching the washing machine spin and slosh.

    3, 2 year olds are toying with you like a cat does an injured mouse.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    The ensuing domino effect would spill into the next day, and the longer they were off their schedule, the harder it would be to get them back on it.

    The only advice I have is this: “Don’t cross the streams.”

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    The ensuing domino effect would spill into the next day, and the longer they were off their schedule, the harder it would be to get them back on it.

    The only advice I have is this: “Don’t cross the streams.”

  • http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com Otter321

    Funny stuff. No matter how hard I try I can’t get our son to care about certain things either. Kids are crazy.

  • http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com Otter321

    Funny stuff. No matter how hard I try I can’t get our son to care about certain things either. Kids are crazy.

  • http://pegbur7.wordpress.com pegbur7

    I thought three TOTAL was hard enough. Cannot imagine 3 at same age PLUS 1. Hats off to you & Lovie, Buddy.

  • http://pegbur7.wordpress.com pegbur7

    I thought three TOTAL was hard enough. Cannot imagine 3 at same age PLUS 1. Hats off to you & Lovie, Buddy.

  • http://www.loulousviews.com Loukia

    I love reading your posts! Man oh man! Good Luck buddy. I can barely handle my two year old! I can’t imagine THREE!!!

  • http://www.loulousviews.com Loukia

    I love reading your posts! Man oh man! Good Luck buddy. I can barely handle my two year old! I can’t imagine THREE!!!

  • http://jugglingeric.blogspot.com Eric

    Good for you.

    We are so undisciplined when it comes to thinking that way. The kids slept until the new 8 o clock. They usually wake up at the old 6 o clock. It’s only an hour difference, but it was a small victory we appreciated.

  • http://jugglingeric.blogspot.com Eric

    Good for you.

    We are so undisciplined when it comes to thinking that way. The kids slept until the new 8 o clock. They usually wake up at the old 6 o clock. It’s only an hour difference, but it was a small victory we appreciated.

  • http://www.almightydad.com Keith Wilcox

    We suck at changing our clocks and then twisting our schedules to match. I didn’t even know we were supposed to do it, and I still don’t get the whole forwards and backwards thing. My wife makes the changes, packs the bags and gets us all moving in the right direction :-) Once I get a good bearing I take over and conduct the operation. But, without her, we’d all be lost.

  • http://www.almightydad.com Keith Wilcox

    We suck at changing our clocks and then twisting our schedules to match. I didn’t even know we were supposed to do it, and I still don’t get the whole forwards and backwards thing. My wife makes the changes, packs the bags and gets us all moving in the right direction :-) Once I get a good bearing I take over and conduct the operation. But, without her, we’d all be lost.

  • http://mothereseblog.com Kristen @ Motherese

    Ugh. I hear you on this DST situation, but can’t imagine what it would be like with triplets! My toddler did okay, but the baby is looking at us like we’re nuts now that we’re trying to put him to bed when it’s still light out. Ahh, the wonders of arbitrary changes in the clocks!

    (Good for you and Lovie for getting out on Saturday, by the way. Sounds like you guys deserve another night on the town!)

  • http://mothereseblog.com Kristen @ Motherese

    Ugh. I hear you on this DST situation, but can’t imagine what it would be like with triplets! My toddler did okay, but the baby is looking at us like we’re nuts now that we’re trying to put him to bed when it’s still light out. Ahh, the wonders of arbitrary changes in the clocks!

    (Good for you and Lovie for getting out on Saturday, by the way. Sounds like you guys deserve another night on the town!)

  • http://www.buriedwithchildren.com Jen

    This time change I don’t really have a problem with. See my kids are very early risers so with this time change, their normal time of getting up 5:30am becomes 6:30am and that doesn’t seem so bad.

    But come fall when 5:30 becomes, 4:30am that is when I have a problem.

  • http://www.buriedwithchildren.com Jen

    This time change I don’t really have a problem with. See my kids are very early risers so with this time change, their normal time of getting up 5:30am becomes 6:30am and that doesn’t seem so bad.

    But come fall when 5:30 becomes, 4:30am that is when I have a problem.

  • http://www.realmendriveminivans.com PJ Mullen

    It took me 21 months to get my son to call me anything other than mama, so I feel your pain on the sir/ma’am thing.

  • http://www.realmendriveminivans.com PJ Mullen

    It took me 21 months to get my son to call me anything other than mama, so I feel your pain on the sir/ma’am thing.

  • http://surprisedmom.blogspot.com SurprisedMom

    Well, A, B and C are leading you on a merry chase through this phase of their life. And isn’t that what toddlers are supposed to do? :) Daylight Savings Time? Why? I hate losing that hour of sleep and I get cranky, like a two-year-old.

  • http://surprisedmom.blogspot.com SurprisedMom

    Well, A, B and C are leading you on a merry chase through this phase of their life. And isn’t that what toddlers are supposed to do? :) Daylight Savings Time? Why? I hate losing that hour of sleep and I get cranky, like a two-year-old.

  • http://liayf.blogspot.com Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Fa

    Yes, it is now way past nine and Lukas is wide awake still. This whole adjustment thing sucks times one.

    Can’t imagine it times 3! Good luck going forward JCO!

  • http://liayf.blogspot.com Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)

    Yes, it is now way past nine and Lukas is wide awake still. This whole adjustment thing sucks times one.

    Can’t imagine it times 3! Good luck going forward JCO!

  • http://richmondzoo.blogspot.com Captain Dumbass

    My kids were monsters Sunday. Of course, I found myself barking at them a few times as well.

  • http://richmondzoo.blogspot.com Captain Dumbass

    My kids were monsters Sunday. Of course, I found myself barking at them a few times as well.

  • http://www.holymolytoledos.blogspot.com Susy

    The boys woke up at the ‘new’ 8:30 – which was just delish b/c they had been waking up at the ‘old’ 5:30 for a week or so. At night, they went down awesomely, but I can’t get credit. I’ll give it to the sun and exhaustion of going to the zoo. :)

  • http://www.holymolytoledos.blogspot.com Susy

    The boys woke up at the ‘new’ 8:30 – which was just delish b/c they had been waking up at the ‘old’ 5:30 for a week or so. At night, they went down awesomely, but I can’t get credit. I’ll give it to the sun and exhaustion of going to the zoo. :)

  • http://www.theperlmanupdate.blogspot.com Jill

    My kids have never had to deal with a one hour time change… as they’ve always lived overseas in countries that thankfully don’t need to do it.

    However, try dealing with a 13.5 hour time change… which is what we’re up against in 12 short weeks. Now that’s fun!

  • http://www.theperlmanupdate.blogspot.com Jill

    My kids have never had to deal with a one hour time change… as they’ve always lived overseas in countries that thankfully don’t need to do it.

    However, try dealing with a 13.5 hour time change… which is what we’re up against in 12 short weeks. Now that’s fun!

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